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Ah, well, impressive level of self awareness. I exaggerated a bit too much that I overdid my point. The 3 minutes example is extremely rare and it's not accept

Ah, well, impressive level of self awareness. I exaggerated a bit too much that I overdid my point. The 3 minutes example is extremely rare and it's not acceptable to ask someone to trade their personal boundaries for a free cup of coffee. But I'd say we all could put out just a little bit better energy than we do, just a bit, with some effort, maybe it even becomes easier over time. For example, I make a concerted effort to make eye contact and smile at the check out line person no matter how I feel. It seems like a small thing but acknowledging people who pass in and out of our field in any given day, with head up eye level, is where the action is. I try to see people when I'm out and about.

11thEarlOfMar 10y ago
I'll grant you this: There are parts of the US where I've found it much easier to be heads-up friendly than others. It seems to be in the demeanor of the general population, and smaller, more out of the way places seem to be more friendly, in general. I'm really flying by the seat of my pants on this one, but perhaps it has to do with the variety of people you meet on a given day. The less variety, the more likely the people you meet are like you and the more comfortable you could be in engaging them. A large variety, and you just can't be sure what you're going to get, and the risk that it's a cold shoulder is too high.
- marmot777 10y ago
  I'm not even talking about striking up a conversation or even saying hi to everyone you pass. :-) More like be there in that moment when an opportunity arises and try to project more good energy into the routine interactions. There's a payoff for that that. It feels good even if it only works sometimes. It's easier said then done as I'm always tempted to look down, passing through. I practice, fail, fail again then maybe get into the groove better the next day. No big deal. Fail isn't quite the right word as there's no real cost for trying to be a source of good energy even if a lot of people aren't trying.
- marmot777 10y ago
  One more important thing about this is that good energy tends to draw good energy. So you might notice that the world seems like a better place because better things happen on days when you put good energy out. The difference is palpable. It's the obvious things such as I'm less likely to experience rudeness from others but some far less obvious changes that seem out of reach of my energy, such as I'm less likely to be cut off in traffic type of bad experience. I'm not sure what if understanding how this process works even matters. It just works consistently.

11thEarlOfMar 10y ago

I'll grant you this: There are parts of the US where I've found it much easier to be heads-up friendly than others. It seems to be in the demeanor of the general population, and smaller, more out of the way places seem to be more friendly, in general. I'm really flying by the seat of my pants on this one, but perhaps it has to do with the variety of people you meet on a given day. The less variety, the more likely the people you meet are like you and the more comfortable you could be in engaging them. A large variety, and you just can't be sure what you're going to get, and the risk that it's a cold shoulder is too high.

marmot777 10y ago
I'm not even talking about striking up a conversation or even saying hi to everyone you pass. :-) More like be there in that moment when an opportunity arises and try to project more good energy into the routine interactions. There's a payoff for that that. It feels good even if it only works sometimes. It's easier said then done as I'm always tempted to look down, passing through. I practice, fail, fail again then maybe get into the groove better the next day. No big deal. Fail isn't quite the right word as there's no real cost for trying to be a source of good energy even if a lot of people aren't trying.
marmot777 10y ago
One more important thing about this is that good energy tends to draw good energy. So you might notice that the world seems like a better place because better things happen on days when you put good energy out. The difference is palpable. It's the obvious things such as I'm less likely to experience rudeness from others but some far less obvious changes that seem out of reach of my energy, such as I'm less likely to be cut off in traffic type of bad experience. I'm not sure what if understanding how this process works even matters. It just works consistently.