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> Are there any introverts out there who have developed coping mechanisms Fake it. I realised couple of years back that there are times when I am not really in

by sumedh 10y ago

> Are there any introverts out there who have developed coping mechanisms Fake it. I realised couple of years back that there are times when I am not really interested in the conversation but its rude to zone out so I pretend and act as if I am interested.

smsm42 10y ago
It's easier said than done. Can you fake being able to run like Usain Bolt? What about if you already run a marathon before it? Sometimes there are things you can do and there are things that are beyond you.
- coldtea 10y ago
  >It's easier said than done. Can you fake being able to run like Usain Bolt? Fortunately, parent didn't advice to fake running like Bolt, just to fake something everybody (except a tiny minority with actual clinical issues) can do: feign interest.
  - smsm42 10y ago
    True, I am exaggerating a little to get the point across, but the point stays - it's harder for some people that others, and that's not that easily controllable.
    - coldtea 10y ago
      Well, most things worth doing are. Is programming itself that easy?
bb101 10y ago
I couldn't agree more. Force yourself to fake it. The conversation won't last forever and you'll leave a good impression which will be a) a social benefit for you in future meetings, and b) possibly helpful to the other person (imagine if they are thinking "oh man, people usually find me so boring but this person is really listening to me"...) @smsm42 we might not be able to run like Usain Bolt, but we are able to force ourselves to maintain concentration and pretend for a while.
- meowface 10y ago
  What should I do when 95% or more of the conversations I have are me faking interest? I actively try to avoid acting rude whenever I can, but in the area I live, I am generally not interested in what people have to say.
- snovv_crash 10y ago
  I'm not sure if you're introverted to the same degree, but NO, I cannot just force myself to maintain concentration. Maybe for 30 seconds, then I'm back to staring blankly across the room until someone says my name again. This is not something I can control. I don't enjoy it and I'm not doing it on purpose. I've used this analogy too many times on this story already, but it is like I'm horribly sleep deprived and people want me to stay awake for things that I'm utterly incapable of doing in my present state.
  - dismantlethesun 10y ago
    Faking it isn't about maintaining mental concentration. If someone is paying attention to you, then it's probably going to be obvious that you're faking it. Thing is... most people either (a) don't know you well enough to say that you're being flakey or (b) aren't paying that much attention... the free flowing alcohol of adult-aged parties and meetings really helps with this respect. How do you fake it without putting in concentration? Pay attention to what other people do in similar circumstances: platitudes, sounds of agreement, sticking to unspectacular and unnovel topics like weather/books/sports. I know personally, I don't even like certain sports, but after hearing 3-4 conversations about a particular team, I can regurgitate the mosaic of other peoples opinions about the team.
RandomOpinion 10y ago
It's actually rather difficult to fake interest in a conversation convincingly, at least in my personal experience. There's only so much nodding and murmured words of agreement one can do before people catch on.

by sumedh 10y ago

smsm42 10y ago

It's easier said than done. Can you fake being able to run like Usain Bolt? What about if you already run a marathon before it? Sometimes there are things you can do and there are things that are beyond you.

coldtea 10y ago
>It's easier said than done. Can you fake being able to run like Usain Bolt? Fortunately, parent didn't advice to fake running like Bolt, just to fake something everybody (except a tiny minority with actual clinical issues) can do: feign interest.
- smsm42 10y ago
  True, I am exaggerating a little to get the point across, but the point stays - it's harder for some people that others, and that's not that easily controllable.
  - coldtea 10y ago
    Well, most things worth doing are. Is programming itself that easy?

bb101 10y ago

I couldn't agree more. Force yourself to fake it. The conversation won't last forever and you'll leave a good impression which will be a) a social benefit for you in future meetings, and b) possibly helpful to the other person (imagine if they are thinking "oh man, people usually find me so boring but this person is really listening to me"...) @smsm42 we might not be able to run like Usain Bolt, but we are able to force ourselves to maintain concentration and pretend for a while.

meowface 10y ago
What should I do when 95% or more of the conversations I have are me faking interest? I actively try to avoid acting rude whenever I can, but in the area I live, I am generally not interested in what people have to say.
snovv_crash 10y ago
I'm not sure if you're introverted to the same degree, but NO, I cannot just force myself to maintain concentration. Maybe for 30 seconds, then I'm back to staring blankly across the room until someone says my name again. This is not something I can control. I don't enjoy it and I'm not doing it on purpose. I've used this analogy too many times on this story already, but it is like I'm horribly sleep deprived and people want me to stay awake for things that I'm utterly incapable of doing in my present state.
- dismantlethesun 10y ago
  Faking it isn't about maintaining mental concentration. If someone is paying attention to you, then it's probably going to be obvious that you're faking it. Thing is... most people either (a) don't know you well enough to say that you're being flakey or (b) aren't paying that much attention... the free flowing alcohol of adult-aged parties and meetings really helps with this respect. How do you fake it without putting in concentration? Pay attention to what other people do in similar circumstances: platitudes, sounds of agreement, sticking to unspectacular and unnovel topics like weather/books/sports. I know personally, I don't even like certain sports, but after hearing 3-4 conversations about a particular team, I can regurgitate the mosaic of other peoples opinions about the team.

RandomOpinion 10y ago

It's actually rather difficult to fake interest in a conversation convincingly, at least in my personal experience. There's only so much nodding and murmured words of agreement one can do before people catch on.