I don't really know what to say because I haven't ever dealt with heroin addiction. But it sounds like you want to turn things even though you know that you are

I don't really know what to say because I haven't ever dealt with heroin addiction. But it sounds like you want to turn things even though you know that you are unlikely to change as a person at this point, isn't that enough to take a step in a different direction? Into a different social circle? You also seem very self-aware which helps in most every social encounter.