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I am fascinated as how people are sharing "strategies" here... like "how to cope with people" or considering that social interactions are "transactions" and "in

by soufron 10y ago

I am fascinated as how people are sharing "strategies" here... like "how to cope with people" or considering that social interactions are "transactions" and "investment". A little empathy anyone? Like being genuinely interested in the people around you? Like having fun by listening to new stuff... I see a lot of depressed people around there :(

cwbrandsma 10y ago
I watch my son, who behaves a lot like I did/do. 1. His inner imagination and dialog is often much richer than what most people have to offer. Sorry, hearing people talk about the weather gets boring quickly. 2. that inner imagination and dialog don't shut off just because people are around. You can ignore it for a while, but it gets "noisy" after a while, like a caged animal trying to get out. 3. Those quiet times alone are there to maintain sanity and balance. Give the inner dialog time to work out its thought, process the new information, figure out what you should have said instead of what you did. My son and I are actually deeply empathetic actually, when people describe injuries I feel it with them, feelings of loss hit me hard as well. But keep all the noise in my head at bay while maintaining conversation for long periods is tiring.
- tamana 10y ago
  If you don't build relationships with people, beware that you might not have anyone to know or care for you when you are in need. If you want to be part of a supportive community, and the standard conversational forms of social grooming don't work for you, take care to replace them with something, like writing letters or doing acts of kindness
exadeci 10y ago
Introverts are usually quite empathetic. The thing is that for us, interacting with other people is draining so when you see that from that perspective you'd prefer to spend that sociable time for more important/interesting things.
smsm42 10y ago
You are making wrong assumption that it's a choice and people just don't want to do "fun" stuff because they hate you or have some other negative personal feeling. It's not so. It's just that stuff is not "fun" for them anymore. It's hard to understand if you didn't experience it, but something that is fun in one circumstance may be very hard in another. Imagine eating a cup of ice cream and eating a ton of ice cream. If you already ate all ice cream you wanted, and then all you could, and feel completely bloated and full, and somebody comes to you and says "why don't you eat a little ice cream? I made it myself, it's delicious!" what would be your reaction? What if that person insists, saying "come on, ice cream is fun! Please eat! Do you really hate me that much? Am I that bad a cook? You know, dude, you're really rude!" It's not depression - just as not wanting more ice cream doesn't mean person hates ice cream in general or is sick or didn't enjoy the ice cream they had before. It's just that they had enough and don't want it anymore. Maybe they'd want more tomorrow. But not right now.

by soufron 10y ago

cwbrandsma 10y ago

I watch my son, who behaves a lot like I did/do. 1. His inner imagination and dialog is often much richer than what most people have to offer. Sorry, hearing people talk about the weather gets boring quickly. 2. that inner imagination and dialog don't shut off just because people are around. You can ignore it for a while, but it gets "noisy" after a while, like a caged animal trying to get out. 3. Those quiet times alone are there to maintain sanity and balance. Give the inner dialog time to work out its thought, process the new information, figure out what you should have said instead of what you did. My son and I are actually deeply empathetic actually, when people describe injuries I feel it with them, feelings of loss hit me hard as well. But keep all the noise in my head at bay while maintaining conversation for long periods is tiring.

tamana 10y ago
If you don't build relationships with people, beware that you might not have anyone to know or care for you when you are in need. If you want to be part of a supportive community, and the standard conversational forms of social grooming don't work for you, take care to replace them with something, like writing letters or doing acts of kindness

exadeci 10y ago

Introverts are usually quite empathetic. The thing is that for us, interacting with other people is draining so when you see that from that perspective you'd prefer to spend that sociable time for more important/interesting things.

smsm42 10y ago

You are making wrong assumption that it's a choice and people just don't want to do "fun" stuff because they hate you or have some other negative personal feeling. It's not so. It's just that stuff is not "fun" for them anymore. It's hard to understand if you didn't experience it, but something that is fun in one circumstance may be very hard in another. Imagine eating a cup of ice cream and eating a ton of ice cream. If you already ate all ice cream you wanted, and then all you could, and feel completely bloated and full, and somebody comes to you and says "why don't you eat a little ice cream? I made it myself, it's delicious!" what would be your reaction? What if that person insists, saying "come on, ice cream is fun! Please eat! Do you really hate me that much? Am I that bad a cook? You know, dude, you're really rude!" It's not depression - just as not wanting more ice cream doesn't mean person hates ice cream in general or is sick or didn't enjoy the ice cream they had before. It's just that they had enough and don't want it anymore. Maybe they'd want more tomorrow. But not right now.