4 ms·

I find the label "quiet" rather presumptuous. If I don't say anything it's likely because I think the odds of an interesting conversation are unfavourable. Noth

by Tycho 10y ago

I find the label "quiet" rather presumptuous. If I don't say anything it's likely because I think the odds of an interesting conversation are unfavourable. Nothing to do with shyness. Blame yourself for not being interesting, don't blame me for being "quiet." Also, I don't need to "recharge" by retreating to solitude, I just find lots of partying, drinking type situations incredible banal and would rather do something else. This is just like getting impatient with any other activity, like watching the shopping channel. Of course usually I don't say this to people. That would just be rude.

EpicEng 10y ago
Sounds to me like you're just not a very fun person to be around and that you like to blame your lack of social skills on others.
- gedankespieler 10y ago
  And you sound like you're not a very fun person to be around, solely because you put someone down based on one comment and want to be self-righteous about social skills. Let me guess, you recently "overcame" social anxiety? Get some perpective. It's not gone forever. I don't think there's anything suspect about being bored by many conversations. Maybe lots of people are boring to him. Not everyone shares interests.
  - EpicEng 10y ago
    No, I never had anything to overcome... I was snarky because the parent sounds like a typical, anti-social bordering on obnoxious, engineer who thinks he's above everyone else.
marmot777 10y ago
è questione di gusti, of course. Your taste. There's no objective measure of interesting. That said, it's reasonable to say I tend not to like the banal banter of drunk people. It's probably true that the overall drinking culture is banal but banal is an escape for a few hours for a lot of people. You don't have to join them on that one.
bobthechef 10y ago
Who said anything about partying and drinking? The author is talking about social gatherings of various sorts. Some social gatherings aren't about having interesting conversation but cultivating or facilitating social contact for some purpose. I don't like bullshit banter or stupid conversation, but your emphasis on what you find interesting with no regard for other needs is revealing and speaks to the author's point.
- Tycho 10y ago
  > Who said anything about partying and drinking? The author.
borplk 10y ago
Presumptuous is a great choice of word there and I also agree. Unfortunately due to extrovert (and pretend-extrovert) majority in the world there's always an undertone of "this is the right way and everyone else is weird" lingering in the society. If the majority were introvert we would land up with people bragging on their resume about their thoughtful quiet nature rather than "oh so outgoing and BUBBLY!!". As Tycho said, yes if I don't speak to you don't be so arrogant as to attribute that to my shyness maybe I just don't give a fuck about you. Not saying that that's always the case, but hey leave some room for that possibility. How about this, what if every time an extroverted talked loudly and excitedly to me I just turn around and tell everyone "Oh don't mind him he's just really desperate and lonely and just wants some attention.". See? Instead of assuming that that's your nature I can assume that is your flaw and you are unable to shut up. That's exactly what extroverts do to introverts when they attribute being quiet to being shy or having social anxiety or being "socially awkward" and all these labels.

by Tycho 10y ago

EpicEng 10y ago

Sounds to me like you're just not a very fun person to be around and that you like to blame your lack of social skills on others.

gedankespieler 10y ago
And you sound like you're not a very fun person to be around, solely because you put someone down based on one comment and want to be self-righteous about social skills. Let me guess, you recently "overcame" social anxiety? Get some perpective. It's not gone forever. I don't think there's anything suspect about being bored by many conversations. Maybe lots of people are boring to him. Not everyone shares interests.
- EpicEng 10y ago
  No, I never had anything to overcome... I was snarky because the parent sounds like a typical, anti-social bordering on obnoxious, engineer who thinks he's above everyone else.

marmot777 10y ago

è questione di gusti, of course. Your taste. There's no objective measure of interesting. That said, it's reasonable to say I tend not to like the banal banter of drunk people. It's probably true that the overall drinking culture is banal but banal is an escape for a few hours for a lot of people. You don't have to join them on that one.

bobthechef 10y ago

Who said anything about partying and drinking? The author is talking about social gatherings of various sorts. Some social gatherings aren't about having interesting conversation but cultivating or facilitating social contact for some purpose. I don't like bullshit banter or stupid conversation, but your emphasis on what you find interesting with no regard for other needs is revealing and speaks to the author's point.

Tycho 10y ago
> Who said anything about partying and drinking? The author.

borplk 10y ago

Presumptuous is a great choice of word there and I also agree. Unfortunately due to extrovert (and pretend-extrovert) majority in the world there's always an undertone of "this is the right way and everyone else is weird" lingering in the society. If the majority were introvert we would land up with people bragging on their resume about their thoughtful quiet nature rather than "oh so outgoing and BUBBLY!!". As Tycho said, yes if I don't speak to you don't be so arrogant as to attribute that to my shyness maybe I just don't give a fuck about you. Not saying that that's always the case, but hey leave some room for that possibility. How about this, what if every time an extroverted talked loudly and excitedly to me I just turn around and tell everyone "Oh don't mind him he's just really desperate and lonely and just wants some attention.". See? Instead of assuming that that's your nature I can assume that is your flaw and you are unable to shut up. That's exactly what extroverts do to introverts when they attribute being quiet to being shy or having social anxiety or being "socially awkward" and all these labels.