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>>I'm not terribly interested in judging this as "right" or "wrong" for this forum, much less in some absolute sense. <shrug> Until it happens to you.

Mz 16y ago
It has happened to me. Not here, but on an email list. Of course, I don't have absolute confirmation because the moderator chooses to not answer any of my emails. I wrote to say 'er, my emails are bouncing and I appear to no longer be subscribed. I was just wondering if that was a glitch or if I was intentionally removed.' No reply, which I think answers my question. I chose to not bother to try to resubscribe. I can understand why the moderator handled things that way. I don't like it and I now don't have any respect for her, but that doesn't change the fact that it solved her problem in a way that worked for her and I am assuming the group probably functions better without me acting as a thorn in everyone's side. I don't feel I am "at fault" for how things went down but I am reasonably sure the moderator has neither the skills nor the interest to try to resolve the underlying problem. All things considered, it is probably for the best for me to not be put in that situation either. Ideally, I wish everyone would take the time to understand me...yadda yadda. Realistically, a) the universe doesn't revolve around me (much less my ego or feelings) and b) there just isn't enough time in the day to get to the bottom of every single instance of social friction we run into. Sometimes you just have to do something that reduces harm and carry on, even if you are wired like me and are inherently disinclined to handle things that way. Too bad, so f*ing sad.
- new_account 16y ago
  I admire your attitude. But what happened to you isn't the same as what is going on here. It is one thing that we can't know what is happening in the minds of moderator/judge/jury. Instead, here we are talking about a program/rule/law. It is written somewhere and purposefully kept secret.

Mz 16y ago

It has happened to me. Not here, but on an email list. Of course, I don't have absolute confirmation because the moderator chooses to not answer any of my emails. I wrote to say 'er, my emails are bouncing and I appear to no longer be subscribed. I was just wondering if that was a glitch or if I was intentionally removed.' No reply, which I think answers my question. I chose to not bother to try to resubscribe. I can understand why the moderator handled things that way. I don't like it and I now don't have any respect for her, but that doesn't change the fact that it solved her problem in a way that worked for her and I am assuming the group probably functions better without me acting as a thorn in everyone's side. I don't feel I am "at fault" for how things went down but I am reasonably sure the moderator has neither the skills nor the interest to try to resolve the underlying problem. All things considered, it is probably for the best for me to not be put in that situation either. Ideally, I wish everyone would take the time to understand me...yadda yadda. Realistically, a) the universe doesn't revolve around me (much less my ego or feelings) and b) there just isn't enough time in the day to get to the bottom of every single instance of social friction we run into. Sometimes you just have to do something that reduces harm and carry on, even if you are wired like me and are inherently disinclined to handle things that way. Too bad, so f*ing sad.

new_account 16y ago
I admire your attitude. But what happened to you isn't the same as what is going on here. It is one thing that we can't know what is happening in the minds of moderator/judge/jury. Instead, here we are talking about a program/rule/law. It is written somewhere and purposefully kept secret.