8 ms·

How do people survive without Facebook? How do I keep up with what everyone's up to? Sure, there's a lot of mindless posting on there but for me the good outwei

How do people survive without Facebook? How do I keep up with what everyone's up to? Sure, there's a lot of mindless posting on there but for me the good outweighs the bad.

overcast 10y ago
I really can't tell if this was sarcasm. Same way they did all the years before the invention of Facebook.
marmot777 10y ago
To clarify, I know people survived before Facebook but I've been on it since I think about 2008. I really like it to be honest. It makes me sad to think of giving it up. A lot of people here are talking about a program of achieving balance. A common list item is "delete your facebook account." I can do without Twitter but Facebook I'd mourn the loss. Maybe that's part of growth though. Damnit!
- overcast 10y ago
  I promise, you can have even more real, meaningful relationships without Facebook updates.
  - marmot777 10y ago
    How can you promise that as you don't know me and don't know how i use Facebook, right? Maybe I'm having a fun time and also projecting good energy out to others. Or maybe I'm delusional. But how do you know with such certainty that my life or any other individual's life would be better without Facebook? I understand if you observed them mindlessly posting updates about minutia and robotically liking this and that.
    - tome 10y ago
      It seems extraordinarily unlikely that you as a human being have less potential for fulfillment through interacting face to face with other humans than when you do so intermediated by Facebook.
      - marmot777 10y ago
        You're probably right.
    - overcast 10y ago
      Because I know how humans have interacted socially for the last 200,000 years prior to the Internet. I'm glad it's been a positive experience for you, but for many it's detrimental. There is a reason these articles are cropping up more, and more. People are finally getting privy to the negative effects, of a life consumed online.
      - marmot777 10y ago
        My experience isn't just one experience. It's a mix of positive and negative experiences. On the good side of the ledger I've been able to help people with some things I know something about and others have been able to help me. I've been supportive of friends online in a genuine way who needed it, and vice-a-versa when it wasn't realistic to be together in person. I've learned more than would ever have been possible without this tool. The only thing (it's big though) I can think of on the bad side of the ledger are that it's easy to be consumed. I've resisted the worst manifestations that can actually kill other human beings: I NEVER, EVER look at my phone while driving. There's no justification for risking the lives of other human beings for that. I don't walk and text as it's annoying as fuck to someone walking the other direction. What I need to do is restore balance. I would imagine that's what most people need. They don't need to do what Andrew Sullivan did. This could be the online addiction using me a sock puppet, though...
- cmstoken 10y ago
  An easier strategy for giving up Facebook is to simply unfollow most of your friends for about two or three weeks. After a while, you will probably notice a huge decrease in your cravings. Once you feel comfortable not seeing updates from everyone all the time, you can try deactivating your account for a week or two, and overtime you start feeling like you don't actually need to use Facebook anymore. You certainly don't have to delete your account or unfriend everyone to do this.
  - marmot777 10y ago
    What is the reason for doing this though? I don't feel the need to do this. It feels like a solution looking for a problem. I realize Facebook takes up time but I usually have fun on Facebook. But I probably use it to make up for weaknesses and to avoid being alone with my thoughts at times.
    - cmstoken 10y ago
      Interesting. If you actually enjoy being on Facebook there is no reason to do this. It's only going to help if you're trying to give it up like you did with Twitter. My suggestion is a less radical alternative to the common "delete your Facebook account" mantra that you mentioned.
      - marmot777 10y ago
        Yes, that's right. I'm realizing that the problem the OP brings up is really a spectrum. I actually do think I have a problem with too much time online but everyone's solution isn't drastic measures. For some it might be scheduling yoga, the gym, a beer with friends. You know you have a problem when you're grateful when a friend cancels plans as you get to spend more time online. One thing is clear though, immersion without awareness is inherently unhealthy. The first step toward finding one's way is awareness or a reminder of the awareness you once had.
        kodt 10y ago
        How many people on your Facebook friends list, or more specifically who show up on your feed have you not talked to in over a year? In over 5 years? For me I would say 90% of people on my feed I have not spoken with in over a year or two. Some not for 5 years, some not for 10 years. So the question is, is it really worth my time to read updates on their life when neither of us can be bothered nor have reason to actually talk to each other? Be it in person, or over the phone, or a personal e-mail. I think for many people, they spend way too much time reading about other people's lives. People who they no longer see or interact with in any way outside of Facebook. The other ill effect is that most people only tend to post positive things on Facebook. If you don't talk with them outside of Facebook you are getting a one sided view of their life. Everything may seem perfect. They love their job. They keep going on interesting vacations. Getting nice things. Going out to eat etc.. And it can make you depressed that your own life isn't as fun or interesting. The truth is they likely have just as many bad days and hardships as you, but don't publicize that information. A one sided view can cause jealousy and resentment. If Facebook is your only window in their life, you probably shouldn't be concerning yourself with what these people are doing.
- jventura 10y ago
  If you enjoy using facebook, don't let others convince you otherwise. Maybe it works for you, but not for the other commenters. Personally i still check ocasionally my facebook, because I get notified of reharsal dates (I'm an amateur musician), what people that share the same sports as I do are doing, etc.. I think the key is balance.
LeoPanthera 10y ago
I have a rule that I only friend people on Facebook who I have met, in the real world, a minimum of twice. It really cuts down on the crap.
ashark 10y ago
Text to coordinate gatherings/hanging-out. Talk at gatherings/hang-outs. [EDIT] remove (mild) snark
Acanthae 10y ago
You just do. When I deleted my Facebook, I lost friends. But if my friendship with someone relies on my having a Facebook then, well, fuck them. I text people or call. I also don't need to know what everyone is up to, either. They can tell me when we talk or hang out. Coincidentally, the friends I lost where the type of people who are on their phones the entire time we hung out, so I don't consider it much of a loss. I consider Facebook -- for me -- wasted time, though, and I didn't enjoy it. If you do like it and you're comfortable with the platform (because, tbh, I'm one of those tin-hat security nuts, too, and Facebook skeeves me out on principle), then keep it. Or, if you're curious, disable it for a week and see what happens. There's no one-size-fits-all solution for everyone.
- marmot777 10y ago
  Yeah, if they were just upfront about privacy and changes and the implications, I'd be a happier user. But now that Zuckerberg is doing something pretty damn cool (the medical research project), actually, it sort of makes up for past privacy sins. :-)
- marmot777 10y ago
  Oh and please, please Facebook implement Markdown. I'd never complain about Facebook again. Probably.

How do people survive without Facebook? How do I keep up with what everyone's up to? Sure, there's a lot of mindless posting on there but for me the good outweighs the bad.

overcast 10y ago

I really can't tell if this was sarcasm. Same way they did all the years before the invention of Facebook.

marmot777 10y ago

To clarify, I know people survived before Facebook but I've been on it since I think about 2008. I really like it to be honest. It makes me sad to think of giving it up. A lot of people here are talking about a program of achieving balance. A common list item is "delete your facebook account." I can do without Twitter but Facebook I'd mourn the loss. Maybe that's part of growth though. Damnit!

overcast 10y ago
I promise, you can have even more real, meaningful relationships without Facebook updates.
- marmot777 10y ago
  How can you promise that as you don't know me and don't know how i use Facebook, right? Maybe I'm having a fun time and also projecting good energy out to others. Or maybe I'm delusional. But how do you know with such certainty that my life or any other individual's life would be better without Facebook? I understand if you observed them mindlessly posting updates about minutia and robotically liking this and that.
  - tome 10y ago
    It seems extraordinarily unlikely that you as a human being have less potential for fulfillment through interacting face to face with other humans than when you do so intermediated by Facebook.
    - marmot777 10y ago
      You're probably right.
  - overcast 10y ago
    Because I know how humans have interacted socially for the last 200,000 years prior to the Internet. I'm glad it's been a positive experience for you, but for many it's detrimental. There is a reason these articles are cropping up more, and more. People are finally getting privy to the negative effects, of a life consumed online.
    - marmot777 10y ago
      My experience isn't just one experience. It's a mix of positive and negative experiences. On the good side of the ledger I've been able to help people with some things I know something about and others have been able to help me. I've been supportive of friends online in a genuine way who needed it, and vice-a-versa when it wasn't realistic to be together in person. I've learned more than would ever have been possible without this tool. The only thing (it's big though) I can think of on the bad side of the ledger are that it's easy to be consumed. I've resisted the worst manifestations that can actually kill other human beings: I NEVER, EVER look at my phone while driving. There's no justification for risking the lives of other human beings for that. I don't walk and text as it's annoying as fuck to someone walking the other direction. What I need to do is restore balance. I would imagine that's what most people need. They don't need to do what Andrew Sullivan did. This could be the online addiction using me a sock puppet, though...
cmstoken 10y ago
An easier strategy for giving up Facebook is to simply unfollow most of your friends for about two or three weeks. After a while, you will probably notice a huge decrease in your cravings. Once you feel comfortable not seeing updates from everyone all the time, you can try deactivating your account for a week or two, and overtime you start feeling like you don't actually need to use Facebook anymore. You certainly don't have to delete your account or unfriend everyone to do this.
- marmot777 10y ago
  What is the reason for doing this though? I don't feel the need to do this. It feels like a solution looking for a problem. I realize Facebook takes up time but I usually have fun on Facebook. But I probably use it to make up for weaknesses and to avoid being alone with my thoughts at times.
  - cmstoken 10y ago
    Interesting. If you actually enjoy being on Facebook there is no reason to do this. It's only going to help if you're trying to give it up like you did with Twitter. My suggestion is a less radical alternative to the common "delete your Facebook account" mantra that you mentioned.
    - marmot777 10y ago
      Yes, that's right. I'm realizing that the problem the OP brings up is really a spectrum. I actually do think I have a problem with too much time online but everyone's solution isn't drastic measures. For some it might be scheduling yoga, the gym, a beer with friends. You know you have a problem when you're grateful when a friend cancels plans as you get to spend more time online. One thing is clear though, immersion without awareness is inherently unhealthy. The first step toward finding one's way is awareness or a reminder of the awareness you once had.
      - kodt 10y ago
        How many people on your Facebook friends list, or more specifically who show up on your feed have you not talked to in over a year? In over 5 years? For me I would say 90% of people on my feed I have not spoken with in over a year or two. Some not for 5 years, some not for 10 years. So the question is, is it really worth my time to read updates on their life when neither of us can be bothered nor have reason to actually talk to each other? Be it in person, or over the phone, or a personal e-mail. I think for many people, they spend way too much time reading about other people's lives. People who they no longer see or interact with in any way outside of Facebook. The other ill effect is that most people only tend to post positive things on Facebook. If you don't talk with them outside of Facebook you are getting a one sided view of their life. Everything may seem perfect. They love their job. They keep going on interesting vacations. Getting nice things. Going out to eat etc.. And it can make you depressed that your own life isn't as fun or interesting. The truth is they likely have just as many bad days and hardships as you, but don't publicize that information. A one sided view can cause jealousy and resentment. If Facebook is your only window in their life, you probably shouldn't be concerning yourself with what these people are doing.
jventura 10y ago
If you enjoy using facebook, don't let others convince you otherwise. Maybe it works for you, but not for the other commenters. Personally i still check ocasionally my facebook, because I get notified of reharsal dates (I'm an amateur musician), what people that share the same sports as I do are doing, etc.. I think the key is balance.

LeoPanthera 10y ago

I have a rule that I only friend people on Facebook who I have met, in the real world, a minimum of twice. It really cuts down on the crap.

ashark 10y ago

Text to coordinate gatherings/hanging-out. Talk at gatherings/hang-outs. [EDIT] remove (mild) snark

Acanthae 10y ago

You just do. When I deleted my Facebook, I lost friends. But if my friendship with someone relies on my having a Facebook then, well, fuck them. I text people or call. I also don't need to know what everyone is up to, either. They can tell me when we talk or hang out. Coincidentally, the friends I lost where the type of people who are on their phones the entire time we hung out, so I don't consider it much of a loss. I consider Facebook -- for me -- wasted time, though, and I didn't enjoy it. If you do like it and you're comfortable with the platform (because, tbh, I'm one of those tin-hat security nuts, too, and Facebook skeeves me out on principle), then keep it. Or, if you're curious, disable it for a week and see what happens. There's no one-size-fits-all solution for everyone.

marmot777 10y ago
Yeah, if they were just upfront about privacy and changes and the implications, I'd be a happier user. But now that Zuckerberg is doing something pretty damn cool (the medical research project), actually, it sort of makes up for past privacy sins. :-)
marmot777 10y ago
Oh and please, please Facebook implement Markdown. I'd never complain about Facebook again. Probably.