When going from riding a bicycle to learning to drive a car, it is very easy to feel a lot of anxiety about it. After all, driving a car on American roads is a

When going from riding a bicycle to learning to drive a car, it is very easy to feel a lot of anxiety about it. After all, driving a car on American roads is a very morally strange thing: you are in fact imposing upon other people a risk of death or lifelong-debilitating injury. And you have to work to accept this. Of course you can and should avoid exacerbating that: only drive when sober and well-rested. Don't text and drive. Don't have complex discussions when driving. Scan your mirrors for bikes and motorcyclists. But as long as you are going to get up and go to work, you cannot reduce risk to 0%. And you have to work to accept this. There are even things you can do to actively be much better than most drivers: do the Dutch Reach[1] when you open your door. Spend $10 on a wide-angle mirror[2]. But ultimately you are still imposing an increased risk of death on others. And you have to work to accept this. Likewise, when going from reading things like http://tinyurl.com/schrodingers-rapist http://tinyurl.com/schrodingers-rapist, or various blogs written by and for those on the receiving end of stalking and street harassment, it is very easy to feel a lot of anxiety about the possibility of creeping someone out. But humans are strange and varied people who have all sorts of backgrounds and perceptions. And you have to work to accept this. You still must avoid doing things that will cause a reasonable predictive model of people to feel fear: Keep a situationally-reasonable distance from people. Don't shout things at people on the street. Don't present sexual/romantic intent to someone with a high cost to removing themselves from the situation. There are ways you can trade time/money or your preferences for other's comfort if you choose: learn to choose and wear nicer clothing. Speak in a slightly higher pitch. Avoid facial hair or tattoos. Have a friend smell-check you if your nose is impaired. But ultimately, people percieve things in different ways and some might perceive you as a threat. And you have to work to accept this. [1] https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2016/09/08/this-cyclist-wants-drivers-dutch-reach/V2Ei5bEiOCfU6ubxX1r8VN/story.html https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2016/09/08/this-cyclist-wa... [2] https://www.amazon.com/Fit-System-RM011-Clip-Mirror/dp/B001A0J2JO https://www.amazon.com/Fit-System-RM011-Clip-Mirror/dp/B001A...