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It's stories like this that make me, as the parent of a high-functioning child with autism spectrum disorder, scared shitless. My son, as he gets older, shows o

It's stories like this that make me, as the parent of a high-functioning child with autism spectrum disorder, scared shitless. My son, as he gets older, shows over and over again that he has an amazing aptitude for pretty much anything he decides to learn. He's not even a teenager, and can: * Play the trombone better than peers two years older than he is, all because he inherited a trombone from his late grandfather, and wanted to honor his memory * Compose music in GarageBand on his iPhone or Mac, and arrange covers of songs from memory, as well as play them on the trombone or piano/keyboard * Write properly-formatted screenplays, direct and produce (with iMovie) and create VFX (with Apple Motion) for his own creations * Write automation scripts for various Mac tasks with JavaScript He has an amazing ability to understand advanced math and science concepts, and recently started positing theories about dark matter (!) during our nightly reading and chatting time. And he's proven that he'll effectively learn (and put into practice) anything he wants to, given the resources to do so. He's expressed more and more interest in computer programming, and I've indulged that interest by teaching him JavaScript (his first request) and now Swift. And one day, he's going to frighten someone with his skills, and he won't understand why; for all his genius and talent, he's still on the autism spectrum, and one common disadvantage for those on the spectrum is an inability to put themselves in someone else's shoes. He cannot understand why others don't think exactly the way he does, or understand the intentions behind his actions. It is completely alien to him that subterfuge is employed by others, that words and deeds should be taken by anything but their literal or face value. He can't begin to comprehend why his stated intentions behind his words or deeds would not be completely and unconditionally believed by everyone else. It simply does not compute. He gets services in school to help with his pragmatic communication, and I do everything I can to guide him as well. Once he's out of school, I can only hope we've made enough of a difference for him to live productively and happily in a world that vilifies people with above-average intelligence but below-average pragmatic or social communication skills.

balabaster 10y ago
Would there be an opportunity to take advantage of his ability to learn anything he puts his mind to in the sense of understanding everyone else's motivations for why they do and say what they do some kind of fascinating project - treat it like a game. Perhaps spinning social function around like this will help him to grasp that empathy and understanding of others motivations(?) I ask this rather than put it out there as a solution mostly because my only understanding of autistics that have come and gone in my life have all had this thread of bottomless abilities to absorb information on topics that fascinate them as well as loving things they can game. Would turning understanding emotions into a game assist his learning here?
- throwanem 10y ago
  > understanding everyone else's motivations for why they do and say what they do some kind of fascinating project - treat it like a game Worked for me, although 'game' is perhaps unduly reductive; for me, it's more in the sense that this is how I can best make myself worthwhile. I don't claim to be on the spectrum, though, so I'm not sure how much 'worked for me' is worth.
WhoBeI 10y ago
Thanks for sharing. These kind of posts are why I spend a lot more time reading comments then the actual articles. I gained some new insight. Hope it all works out splendid for you, your son and family.
nibs 10y ago
My father, brother, both grandfathers, one grandmother and fiance (female) are all adults on the spectrum (Aspergers under DSM-4). Empathy can be systematized like anything else. This works in 99% percent of situations. Just give him opportunities to be around people at his speed (like 2E gifted magnet programs in a large urban center) and he can learn to mimic their social skills. Career-wise, we seem to keep going to school until we burn out due to boredom (introverts last longer, like masters or PhDs, extroverts seem to drop out of undergrad) and then end up owning small, obscure businesses as a dictator doing economically valuable intellectual things. Primarily the introverts of the family maintain no regular social relationships at all outside of immediate family, extroverts have weird friends of varying IQ levels. The biggest source of meaning seems to be family and intellectually difficult work. YMMV.
r00fus 10y ago
My biggest fear as a parent of a child with ASD is the police [1] [2]. My next biggest fear is natural dangers (water, roads, etc). I can train/prevent for the latter danger, but I feel sad that I don't think there's much I can do for the biggest one. [1] http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/the-entrapment-of-jesse-snodgrass-20140226 http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/the-entrapment-of-j... [2] https://www.google.com/search?q=special+needs+shot+by+police https://www.google.com/search?q=special+needs+shot+by+police

balabaster 10y ago

Would there be an opportunity to take advantage of his ability to learn anything he puts his mind to in the sense of understanding everyone else's motivations for why they do and say what they do some kind of fascinating project - treat it like a game. Perhaps spinning social function around like this will help him to grasp that empathy and understanding of others motivations(?) I ask this rather than put it out there as a solution mostly because my only understanding of autistics that have come and gone in my life have all had this thread of bottomless abilities to absorb information on topics that fascinate them as well as loving things they can game. Would turning understanding emotions into a game assist his learning here?

throwanem 10y ago
> understanding everyone else's motivations for why they do and say what they do some kind of fascinating project - treat it like a game Worked for me, although 'game' is perhaps unduly reductive; for me, it's more in the sense that this is how I can best make myself worthwhile. I don't claim to be on the spectrum, though, so I'm not sure how much 'worked for me' is worth.

WhoBeI 10y ago

Thanks for sharing. These kind of posts are why I spend a lot more time reading comments then the actual articles. I gained some new insight. Hope it all works out splendid for you, your son and family.

nibs 10y ago

My father, brother, both grandfathers, one grandmother and fiance (female) are all adults on the spectrum (Aspergers under DSM-4). Empathy can be systematized like anything else. This works in 99% percent of situations. Just give him opportunities to be around people at his speed (like 2E gifted magnet programs in a large urban center) and he can learn to mimic their social skills. Career-wise, we seem to keep going to school until we burn out due to boredom (introverts last longer, like masters or PhDs, extroverts seem to drop out of undergrad) and then end up owning small, obscure businesses as a dictator doing economically valuable intellectual things. Primarily the introverts of the family maintain no regular social relationships at all outside of immediate family, extroverts have weird friends of varying IQ levels. The biggest source of meaning seems to be family and intellectually difficult work. YMMV.

r00fus 10y ago

My biggest fear as a parent of a child with ASD is the police [1] [2]. My next biggest fear is natural dangers (water, roads, etc). I can train/prevent for the latter danger, but I feel sad that I don't think there's much I can do for the biggest one. [1] http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/the-entrapment-of-jesse-snodgrass-20140226 http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/the-entrapment-of-j... [2] https://www.google.com/search?q=special+needs+shot+by+police https://www.google.com/search?q=special+needs+shot+by+police