7 ms·

> None of what I read in TFA I really understand to be a hostile work environment, as the term is defined. Your colleagues joke that someone is coming to rape

> None of what I read in TFA I really understand to be a hostile work environment, as the term is defined. Your colleagues joke that someone is coming to rape you, and you're supposed to laugh? I'm not a woman, but I can imagine a woman being really hurt by such a joke. Given the fact that 1 out of 6 women in this country are victims of sexual assault[1], I think it's a joke in poor taste, and does not belong in a workforce. [1] https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem

zaroth 10y ago
I'm a little upset that you took the first paragraph of TFA and mangled it into "Your colleagues joke that someone is coming to rape you." On a Tuesday morning in July, when men on her team began to joke that an office intruder was coming to rape everybody, Danielle decided to speak out about what she described as the "very toxic atmosphere" created by jokes about violent sexual assault. So 'Danielle' overheard a tense joke about an office intruder. After raising a complaint, the person who made the joke apologized profusely. I'm not laughing, but again I'm really not shocked and would not expect a response to this incident beyond the apology already offered.
- chillacy 10y ago
  If the throwaway accounts posting lately are real, then it wasn't even directly about rape, it was about the line "hide your kids, hide your wife" from.. the Bed Intruder Song. Then the person apologized more and more while Danielle kept going at him for making that joke.
  - xauronx 10y ago
    And then she had to take off time from work to "recover" from the incident. Sounds like someone who might be more fit for their new position than in a stressful environment around other humans.
keithnz 10y ago
someone coming to rape everybody.... she wasn't singled out. Still, rape jokes are not acceptable.
- cpncrunch 10y ago
  >Still, rape jokes are not acceptable. Perhaps, but it's not something that is obviously unacceptable. I would put it on the same level as making a joke about an intruder coming to bomb/shoot everyone. Certainly it's in poor taste, but that's the level of humour you find everywhere.
  - keithnz 10y ago
    if that was a real and possible threat to someone, then that would be totally unacceptable as well. Pretty sure people who went through 9/11 would not appreciate that. Thing is, it's not found everywhere, there are very respectful workplace environments. If people do cross the line it is called out and dealt with and quite quickly things converge on what is acceptable and what's not.
    - r-w 10y ago
      It’s a shitty joke. Just move on. It shouldn’t be the company’s business to legislate whether jokes are in good taste. If just one person is uncomfortable on that team, they should just be put on another team, no questions asked. An entire team shouldn’t have to adjust their speech for just one uncomfortable person, especially when just one slip-up prompts that incident being shared company-wide in a massive and petty shaming attempt.
  - scott_s 10y ago
    Rape jokes are obviously unacceptable.
    - cpncrunch 10y ago
      No more obviously unacceptable than bomb/murder jokes, both of which are pretty common.
flukus 10y ago
> I'm not a woman, but I can imagine a woman being really hurt by such a joke. So we have to treat women differently than men? Sounds a bit sexist.
- roywiggins 10y ago
  Wake me up when men are raped at the same rate as women and then we can talk about treating everyone the same.
  - flukus 10y ago
    So sexism is okay until men and women are raped in equal amounts?
    - 1024core 10y ago
      It's not sexism. Women and men are treated differently from basically the day they're born. Talk to some women for a change, and learn about their fears and apprehensions. You'd be surprised. Until you try to educate yourself, the Internet can't do it for you.
      - flukus 10y ago
        So equality is a list cause and your fine with that?
  - deleted 10y ago
    [deleted]
- keithnz 10y ago
  No, not differently, you just need a base level of respect that allows for diversity. Various groups of people don't face the same issues as other groups of people. It's easy to be in one group, and say something that is a lot more offensive to another group due to real fear and/or discrimination, and vice versa. So no matter what group/s you belong to you need to be respectful of other groups and their challenges.

zaroth 10y ago

I'm a little upset that you took the first paragraph of TFA and mangled it into "Your colleagues joke that someone is coming to rape you." On a Tuesday morning in July, when men on her team began to joke that an office intruder was coming to rape everybody, Danielle decided to speak out about what she described as the "very toxic atmosphere" created by jokes about violent sexual assault. So 'Danielle' overheard a tense joke about an office intruder. After raising a complaint, the person who made the joke apologized profusely. I'm not laughing, but again I'm really not shocked and would not expect a response to this incident beyond the apology already offered.

chillacy 10y ago
If the throwaway accounts posting lately are real, then it wasn't even directly about rape, it was about the line "hide your kids, hide your wife" from.. the Bed Intruder Song. Then the person apologized more and more while Danielle kept going at him for making that joke.
- xauronx 10y ago
  And then she had to take off time from work to "recover" from the incident. Sounds like someone who might be more fit for their new position than in a stressful environment around other humans.

keithnz 10y ago

someone coming to rape everybody.... she wasn't singled out. Still, rape jokes are not acceptable.

cpncrunch 10y ago
>Still, rape jokes are not acceptable. Perhaps, but it's not something that is obviously unacceptable. I would put it on the same level as making a joke about an intruder coming to bomb/shoot everyone. Certainly it's in poor taste, but that's the level of humour you find everywhere.
- keithnz 10y ago
  if that was a real and possible threat to someone, then that would be totally unacceptable as well. Pretty sure people who went through 9/11 would not appreciate that. Thing is, it's not found everywhere, there are very respectful workplace environments. If people do cross the line it is called out and dealt with and quite quickly things converge on what is acceptable and what's not.
  - r-w 10y ago
    It’s a shitty joke. Just move on. It shouldn’t be the company’s business to legislate whether jokes are in good taste. If just one person is uncomfortable on that team, they should just be put on another team, no questions asked. An entire team shouldn’t have to adjust their speech for just one uncomfortable person, especially when just one slip-up prompts that incident being shared company-wide in a massive and petty shaming attempt.
- scott_s 10y ago
  Rape jokes are obviously unacceptable.
  - cpncrunch 10y ago
    No more obviously unacceptable than bomb/murder jokes, both of which are pretty common.

flukus 10y ago

> I'm not a woman, but I can imagine a woman being really hurt by such a joke. So we have to treat women differently than men? Sounds a bit sexist.

roywiggins 10y ago
Wake me up when men are raped at the same rate as women and then we can talk about treating everyone the same.
- flukus 10y ago
  So sexism is okay until men and women are raped in equal amounts?
  - 1024core 10y ago
    It's not sexism. Women and men are treated differently from basically the day they're born. Talk to some women for a change, and learn about their fears and apprehensions. You'd be surprised. Until you try to educate yourself, the Internet can't do it for you.
    - flukus 10y ago
      So equality is a list cause and your fine with that?
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
keithnz 10y ago
No, not differently, you just need a base level of respect that allows for diversity. Various groups of people don't face the same issues as other groups of people. It's easy to be in one group, and say something that is a lot more offensive to another group due to real fear and/or discrimination, and vice versa. So no matter what group/s you belong to you need to be respectful of other groups and their challenges.