4 ms·

Maybe I am the old man in the room, but even though it sounds neat, and the intentions are good, I think the net result is pushing more towards not dealing with

by eggy 10y ago

Maybe I am the old man in the room, but even though it sounds neat, and the intentions are good, I think the net result is pushing more towards not dealing with the world and now instead of slipping notes folded in your hand with micro-writing to someone, you text them or hook up on an app. The note could get intercepted and abused in the past, and the same for this app, just as Facebook can be used to prey upon people, so can this app be used. Tech is not always the answer, although tech is liberating and awesome in general. Part of growing up is learning to take chances, and overcome fears, extreme cases not included. Children learn to test boundaries, and explore. Some kids, and their parents are just bad or ignorant, and it will always exist in some manner. The goal post moves to the next unacceptable thing to the point where people will only be able to live in urban areas, and wouldn't last a minute outside of their cell coverage zone, or in nature. It will never go away even with all of the tech and laws. You can't legislate intelligence, and you cannot tech it to death. I for one think things have gotten better, but the bad is reported more, and gives the impression that it is somehow worse in people's minds. I look at my childhood, and my children's and they are orders of magnitude in difference to the violence and things that went on in my neighborhood. I do, though see the relative discomforts. Meaning something that would not have personally been hurtful to me then, or at least I would have been able to put aside, and move on, would be more of an issue to my children's peers. We have progressed, and are whittling away at the extremes, but then the relative borders of unacceptable move closer perhaps enough to make the emotional magnitude equivalent.

tetrep 10y ago
> We have progressed, and are whittling away at the extremes, but then the relative borders of unacceptable move closer perhaps enough to make the emotional magnitude equivalent. I think this is a general trend with socializing and the internet. Before ~instantaneous communication in global forums, you had to "make do" or compromise with how you socialized among your peers, since you were limited to the immediate geographic area (less as you grow older and potentially get access to cars/more autonomy). But now, you can literally just take your socializing elsewhere, it's a "buyers" market for socializing where, if you don't like your current social network, you can pretty easily drop it and go somewhere more comfortable for you. This is great from a curated safety standpoint but it breeds dependence on these social escapes. I think parallels nicely with "fight or flight" where you can either try to fight for your social standing in your current environment, or flee to a more welcoming one. If you always choose flee, you'll always be satisfied by some other group socially (assuming you can find one, which should be pretty easy on the internet) but you'll never learn how to handle social conflict in a healthy manner, and thus your boundaries of acceptability shrink more and more as you mature and come to better understand what you want (or at least what you dislike). I think it's similar to having too hygienic an environment when growing up, your body doesn't adapt to various allergens and you end up less healthy the curation. Or the cliche spoiled child, who grows up to become extremely difficult to work on a team/interact with in general because they're not learned in compromise and are incapable of comprehending "not getting their way." Technology in general allows us to better enact our will, which I think is also slowly spoiling those who fully take advantage of it. Just like it's healthy to keep physically and mentally challenging yourself, I think emotionally challenging yourself is also healthy, and while you don't need to seek out difficult social interactions, I think it's healthy to try to solve the problems without simply avoiding them. edit: for age context, i'm in my mid-twenties
- eggy 10y ago
  Very good observations, proving once again, I can learn by listening to other view points. You nailed it with 'it's a "buyers" market for socializing', and you keep flocking to less threatening or less comfortable social groups. I think this is mostly good, but as we have both put forth, can lead to not dealing with reality at times. Again, to be able to get away from the extremes is beneficial, but to never confront others or our own personal fears might not allow us to grow more. We grow through obstacles, and that includes awkward, and at times scary, social ones too, not just the technical or intellectual ones. I am 52; you are very astute for your age!

by eggy 10y ago

tetrep 10y ago

> We have progressed, and are whittling away at the extremes, but then the relative borders of unacceptable move closer perhaps enough to make the emotional magnitude equivalent. I think this is a general trend with socializing and the internet. Before ~instantaneous communication in global forums, you had to "make do" or compromise with how you socialized among your peers, since you were limited to the immediate geographic area (less as you grow older and potentially get access to cars/more autonomy). But now, you can literally just take your socializing elsewhere, it's a "buyers" market for socializing where, if you don't like your current social network, you can pretty easily drop it and go somewhere more comfortable for you. This is great from a curated safety standpoint but it breeds dependence on these social escapes. I think parallels nicely with "fight or flight" where you can either try to fight for your social standing in your current environment, or flee to a more welcoming one. If you always choose flee, you'll always be satisfied by some other group socially (assuming you can find one, which should be pretty easy on the internet) but you'll never learn how to handle social conflict in a healthy manner, and thus your boundaries of acceptability shrink more and more as you mature and come to better understand what you want (or at least what you dislike). I think it's similar to having too hygienic an environment when growing up, your body doesn't adapt to various allergens and you end up less healthy the curation. Or the cliche spoiled child, who grows up to become extremely difficult to work on a team/interact with in general because they're not learned in compromise and are incapable of comprehending "not getting their way." Technology in general allows us to better enact our will, which I think is also slowly spoiling those who fully take advantage of it. Just like it's healthy to keep physically and mentally challenging yourself, I think emotionally challenging yourself is also healthy, and while you don't need to seek out difficult social interactions, I think it's healthy to try to solve the problems without simply avoiding them. edit: for age context, i'm in my mid-twenties

eggy 10y ago
Very good observations, proving once again, I can learn by listening to other view points. You nailed it with 'it's a "buyers" market for socializing', and you keep flocking to less threatening or less comfortable social groups. I think this is mostly good, but as we have both put forth, can lead to not dealing with reality at times. Again, to be able to get away from the extremes is beneficial, but to never confront others or our own personal fears might not allow us to grow more. We grow through obstacles, and that includes awkward, and at times scary, social ones too, not just the technical or intellectual ones. I am 52; you are very astute for your age!