3 ms·
Honestly, the expectation of sex or status. Between the sexes there's a unspoken expectation that if we like each other enough, we will end up together. If one
by John23832 10y ago
Honestly, the expectation of sex or status.
Between the sexes there's a unspoken expectation that if we like each other enough, we will end up together. If one or both parties are taken, it's kind of hard to form relationships, because you may not be willing to live up to that expectation (you actually want to be friends), the other person may think differently.
With the same sex, theres struggle for status. Most people are nice people, we don't want to come off and rude. But at the same time we have a inherent need to not be the lowest man on the totem poll. In order to climb the social ladder without being forceful and fighting for position, we end up doing weird desperate things. We want others to willing see us as better/more deserving, rather than forcing that opinion on them.
- pavel_lishin 10y ago> But at the same time we have a inherent need to not be the lowest man on the totem poll. In order to climb the social ladder without being forceful and fighting for position, we end up doing weird desperate things. We want others to willing see us as better/more deserving, rather than forcing that opinion on them. Really? I don't feel this way at all when meeting new people.
- tinix 10y agoYeah me either... I think the poster above is projecting their own thoughts and feelings onto others. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection
- John23832 10y agoNo. I'm not. Nobody strives to be poor, or destitute, or lonely. People want as much as they need to feel comfortable, as many friends as they need to feel happy. Trying to slight someone while being a contrarian with a wikipedia link is testament to psychological projection though.
- pavel_lishin 10y ago> Nobody strives to be poor, or destitute, or lonely. True, but there's a huge fucking difference between being poor or destitute, and not being on the highest step of the social ladder among the people you're hanging out with. > > but that doesn't mean they want to be better than everyone else. > I never said that they did. You said explicitly that people were doing weird things in order to climb the social ladder. Why keep climbing if you're happy where you are? I don't think I'm the highest-ranked among the people I generally talk to, but I'm perfectly comfortable in my group - I'd say that many people around me are much higher, some are lower, and I haven't noticed any particular ladder-climbing among us.
- John23832 10y ago> True, but there's a huge fucking difference Calm down, take a breather, no need to curse. I'd still understand what you're saying without it. > not being on the highest step of the social ladder among the people you're hanging out with. I said nobody wants to be the lowest on the totem pole. Not that everyone has to be at the top. You said yourself: > I don't think I'm the highest-ranked among the people I generally talk to, but I'm perfectly comfortable in my group You see yourself as as existing in the middle. And you're fine with that it seems. But if someone saw themselves as existing at the bottom of their group, I guarantee they'd strive to change that. Climbing the ladder. Now, the top and the bottom of a group are relative to the person, but they exist and we as individuals orient ourselves to those points.
- aninhumer 10y agoOf course no one wants to be poor or lonely, but that doesn't mean they want to be better than everyone else. Just being equal is fine for me.
- John23832 10y ago> but that doesn't mean they want to be better than everyone else. I never said that they did.