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> 1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. I'm sure you're being sincere with this advice, but I thi

> 1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. I'm sure you're being sincere with this advice, but I think there's a major pitfall to be considered with joining a gym. If you're joining a gym to make yourself more attractive so you can meet people, you are already on the road to hell. What is the difference between big muscles and a hair implant? I see happy couples who are short, who have acne, who are obese. I myself have a serious receding hairline that is merging with my bald spot as we speak. Join a gym if you don't like your body for YOUR reasons, not because you think it will increase your chances. You don't need a 'nice' body to meet people. On the other hand... If you find a sporting activity you enjoy, do it 3-4x per week and don't worry about your body. It will morph itself into something fine. And you'll enjoy yourself, and that enjoyment is infectious. People of both sexes naturally gravitate towards people who are doing something they enjoy. Co-ed activities like Tennis, Surfing, Ultimate, Rock Climbing, and so on are all amazing ways to meet people if you are sincerely enjoying yourself. Climbing gyms are redolent with sexual tension, you could cut it with a knife. And after six months, just look at yourself in the mirror and tell me you don't like what you see! The key is to keep looking until you find something you sincerely enjoy. You'll meet lots of other people who sincerely enjoy it to and you won't need any "game" or "rules" to meet someone wonderful.

keefe 17y ago
Big muscles are certainly more useful than a hair implant and it's shown over and over that being very fit effectively slows down the aging process. Well, maybe I'm also making the assumption that most guys are like me. I want girls that are either skinny or athletic, that's what I find to be the most beautiful. I would be a huge hypocrite if I was turned on by fit women and didn't workout a lot myself, you know?
HeyLaughingBoy 17y ago
There's nothing wrong with doing things to increase your self confidence. For some people, a good-looking body can be one of those things. In the end, it's a self-correcting mechanism: the ones who are doing it just for others will lose interest after a few months. Doing it for yourself can keep you going for years. For me, weightlifting was the activity I enjoyed. It started out as me being really skinny and wanting to gain weight, but got to the point that being muscular was just a pleasant side effect. The true enjoyment came from the endorphin release of moving heavy weight, the satisfaction of getting stronger every week and just knowing that there was a direct correlation between how hard I worked and what results I achieved. Where I take issue is okeefe's comment about not wanting to be a hypocrite. You like what you like; it's not hypocritical to be attracted to someone slender and athletic if you are overweight and out of shape. FWIW, I have never cared much about what people look like. If I like someone enough I will probably find her attractive - that's been proven to me time and time again and the range over which it holds is pretty surprising.
- raganwald 17y ago
  I also enjoy weightlifting and trained both powerlifting and olympic-style ("true") weightlifting back in the day. But the same thing applies: I lifted weights to improve my performance in other sports that I enjoyed for their own reasons. I ended up enjoying weightlifting quite a bit for its own reasons. But never once did I lift weights because I wanted more women, nor do I think someone would be a hypocrite if they liked athletic women and but weightlifting in favour of playing another sport they enjoyed for its intrinsic value like Badminton :-)
- keefe 17y ago
  It's certainly something to be overweight and expect your partner to maintain an athletic figure, whatever language you want to put on it. There is probably some small portion of athletic women that prefer overweight men, but the majority will prefer athletic men, so why should my partner settle for flubber? There have been a lot of comments about - oh, unless you do it for yourself, you'll quit! This is nonsense. I know a lot of extremely fit guys and the many of them are doing it to impress women very successfully. It's also just one more motivating factor among many to keep your body in good condition. I've been working out for years and I find the actual activities inane. Pick up the heavy thing. Put it down. YAYYYY slightly heavier. However, I want toned muscles for many reasons, so I just do it. It's really not that hard to just discipline yourself, particularly if you are as interested in longevity as I am.

keefe 17y ago

Big muscles are certainly more useful than a hair implant and it's shown over and over that being very fit effectively slows down the aging process. Well, maybe I'm also making the assumption that most guys are like me. I want girls that are either skinny or athletic, that's what I find to be the most beautiful. I would be a huge hypocrite if I was turned on by fit women and didn't workout a lot myself, you know?

HeyLaughingBoy 17y ago

There's nothing wrong with doing things to increase your self confidence. For some people, a good-looking body can be one of those things. In the end, it's a self-correcting mechanism: the ones who are doing it just for others will lose interest after a few months. Doing it for yourself can keep you going for years. For me, weightlifting was the activity I enjoyed. It started out as me being really skinny and wanting to gain weight, but got to the point that being muscular was just a pleasant side effect. The true enjoyment came from the endorphin release of moving heavy weight, the satisfaction of getting stronger every week and just knowing that there was a direct correlation between how hard I worked and what results I achieved. Where I take issue is okeefe's comment about not wanting to be a hypocrite. You like what you like; it's not hypocritical to be attracted to someone slender and athletic if you are overweight and out of shape. FWIW, I have never cared much about what people look like. If I like someone enough I will probably find her attractive - that's been proven to me time and time again and the range over which it holds is pretty surprising.

raganwald 17y ago
I also enjoy weightlifting and trained both powerlifting and olympic-style ("true") weightlifting back in the day. But the same thing applies: I lifted weights to improve my performance in other sports that I enjoyed for their own reasons. I ended up enjoying weightlifting quite a bit for its own reasons. But never once did I lift weights because I wanted more women, nor do I think someone would be a hypocrite if they liked athletic women and but weightlifting in favour of playing another sport they enjoyed for its intrinsic value like Badminton :-)
keefe 17y ago
It's certainly something to be overweight and expect your partner to maintain an athletic figure, whatever language you want to put on it. There is probably some small portion of athletic women that prefer overweight men, but the majority will prefer athletic men, so why should my partner settle for flubber? There have been a lot of comments about - oh, unless you do it for yourself, you'll quit! This is nonsense. I know a lot of extremely fit guys and the many of them are doing it to impress women very successfully. It's also just one more motivating factor among many to keep your body in good condition. I've been working out for years and I find the actual activities inane. Pick up the heavy thing. Put it down. YAYYYY slightly heavier. However, I want toned muscles for many reasons, so I just do it. It's really not that hard to just discipline yourself, particularly if you are as interested in longevity as I am.