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> a host who was nice to me when I met him and then wasn't as nice 5 minutes later once my wife arrived I don't doubt the presence of racism in our society, bu
by orthoganol 10y ago
> a host who was nice to me when I met him and then wasn't as nice 5 minutes later once my wife arrived
I don't doubt the presence of racism in our society, but this seems like an overly subjective and crude way to label someone a racist. Off the top of my head they could be threatened by the other's attractiveness (surprisingly common), they find the person awkward to speak with or annoying/ out of touch, they are shy/uncomfortable around social situations with multiple people, they could even be a minsogynst, they could have terrible social skills, or a hundred other reasons why someone might give off bad vibes to someone else.
How do you differentiate so assuredly between "this person just doesn't like this person and/ or the situation" and "this person is a racist"?
I've lived in countries where I felt like I got a ton of looks/ distance, and if someone was rude to me, I found myself jumping to "racism" a lot, a lot of the x-pats did. Yet when I come back home I still encounter the same kind of rudeness but suddenly it's not racism anymore, it's just people being assholes. Not sure where I'm going with this, it just does bother me that people are so quick to pull the racism card in such ambiguous, subjective situations, especially when it's against people who are younger than my grandparent's generation, who in the US at least are a lot less likely to actually be racist.
- jessaustin 10y agoIt's fine to analyze potential racism experienced by oneself in this fashion, but it really is out of bounds to analyze potential racism experienced by other people in this way. Perhaps that isn't fair to those of us who rarely experience potential racism, but so what?
- blackbagboys 10y agoOther people's perceptions are no less prone to error and misjudgment than one's own. It's not polite to challenge someone's interpretation of their own experiences, but to declare it "out of bounds" or somehow morally wrong is a cheap shaming tactic.
- deleted 10y ago[deleted]
- orthoganol 10y agoThe person I was responding to was not the experiencer of the racism, as you meant it. Yes this is a good guideline in general, but there are also times when probing further is necessary for an actual meaningful discussion.
- jessaustin 10y agoI agree with your general observations with respect to misunderstanding and assumptions. I just don't see how the questions you asked could lead to edifying answers. It is a mistake to concentrate on particulars like this, and would have been even if OP agreed with you rather than responding with a dispositive contradictory detail.
- orthoganol 10y agoMy comment was addressed to the HN readership in the way that most are, it's not just about OP's response. Problems with criteria for labeling someone as racist in ambiguous, subjective situations bears some importance within our dialog on racism. Saying it's out of bounds to raise issues like this, apriori, will not improve this dialog.
- nicolas_t 10y agoWell, when the guy says "Make sure to clean up, it's not like in your country where everything's dirty", it's pretty obvious :-) It's also in Europe in a smaller city and the guy was middle aged... I find that in smaller cities in Europe people tend to be more racist than in bigger cosmopolitan cities.