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Volunteer. Volunteer. Volunteer. Church, homeless shelter, camp counselor, big brother program, soccer, etc. I signed up and helped out wherever I could. WHY?

Volunteer. Volunteer. Volunteer. Church, homeless shelter, camp counselor, big brother program, soccer, etc. I signed up and helped out wherever I could. WHY? Because I suspected that I'd be more likely to find a partner who wasn't into themselves. If you can qualify your potential partner as someone who is willing to sacrifice and able to love others, that is a good signal that they are willing to humble themselves to love you. And let me say, you'll need it. For a relationship to survive it will take sacrifice, humbleness, and commitment. Because life dishes out some serious bullshit. When my brother suddenly passed away I'd have easily fallen into drugs. I didn't really want to live because my depression was so deep. My wife stuck it out with me. She'd never admit it, but she knows that she is the one for me. Hands down. And she didn't have to dominate me. She loved me when I hated myself. She said I was valuable when I couldn't find any. I love her so much for that. So my advice? Step outside yourself and volunteer. And don't go seeking a partner. Just go and love other people. Love those who are weaker than you. Honor those who are needy and easily exploited. When you do that, people will know. They'll see. I can't promise a relationship (though those who have followed my advice tend to find one) but I can promise that if you approach it honestly, you will no longer feel alone. And that at least will be a start to solving your loneliness problem. Best of luck!

plugger 10y ago
Agreed 100%. Another place to consider is soup kitchens. But as jfolkins points out volunteering your time to help others is very beneficial personally and that makes you more attractive to others. The fact that you're sacrificing your own personal time to help others is very attractive to perspective partners. Not only that, but the dividends you personally collect from helping others will benefit you immensely socially regardless of if it directly delivers a life partner. First off, you'll realise despite your less than ideal situation that you have a life that's demonstrably better than the people you're helping. Not in a "I'm better than you" way but in a "I've got a lot to be thankful for" way. Not having a partner pales in comparison to struggling for food and shelter. This will give you more perspective on your own life and allow you to more honestly recognise how good you have things. The truth is that with a more positive view on your own life you will be more attractive to others from both a friendship and relationship perspective. It's not a light switch situation, you won't wake up tomorrow and be a different person after volunteering once. But given time a life with volunteering with become your new normal. If you didn't have new friends and possibly a perspective romantic interest by then I'd be surprised. Still, give it time. And in the end, even if you don't find a partner out of it you can hold your head high as you've helped a lot of people in the process. But in all honesty, I suspect that you'll find the changes in you that are derived from regularly helping those less fortunate than you will in fact make you a more attractive perspective partner to the opposite sex. Good luck!

plugger 10y ago

Agreed 100%. Another place to consider is soup kitchens. But as jfolkins points out volunteering your time to help others is very beneficial personally and that makes you more attractive to others. The fact that you're sacrificing your own personal time to help others is very attractive to perspective partners. Not only that, but the dividends you personally collect from helping others will benefit you immensely socially regardless of if it directly delivers a life partner. First off, you'll realise despite your less than ideal situation that you have a life that's demonstrably better than the people you're helping. Not in a "I'm better than you" way but in a "I've got a lot to be thankful for" way. Not having a partner pales in comparison to struggling for food and shelter. This will give you more perspective on your own life and allow you to more honestly recognise how good you have things. The truth is that with a more positive view on your own life you will be more attractive to others from both a friendship and relationship perspective. It's not a light switch situation, you won't wake up tomorrow and be a different person after volunteering once. But given time a life with volunteering with become your new normal. If you didn't have new friends and possibly a perspective romantic interest by then I'd be surprised. Still, give it time. And in the end, even if you don't find a partner out of it you can hold your head high as you've helped a lot of people in the process. But in all honesty, I suspect that you'll find the changes in you that are derived from regularly helping those less fortunate than you will in fact make you a more attractive perspective partner to the opposite sex. Good luck!