This was a process I started about 10 years ago but I'm married with two kids so I'd say it was successful. I decided that if I were going to attract someone I

This was a process I started about 10 years ago but I'm married with two kids so I'd say it was successful. I decided that if I were going to attract someone I had to be comfortable with myself. I did an honest appraisal and there were some things I didn't like, so I focused on myself for a while. I lost weight, started dressing better, and went out to more meetups, parties, etc. At first I used alcohol to help me loosen up and I practiced talking to people. It was difficult at first but I learned how to hold longer and more interesting conversations and without relying on booze or any other crutches. I also practiced "fake it until you make it". I recited to myself all the awesome things about me and started taking pride in who I was, and in my newfound personal growth. I expressly forbade myself from attempting to get a girl's phone number or have any kind of relationship, even just one time sex. With all the pressure off I found it easier and easier to not care what other people thought and just be myself. I would go out and talk to anyone in any situation and leave them with a smile. Every interaction was a learning opportunity. The more confident I became the more people wanted to be my friend and hang around me. I made several women friends and one of them introduced me to my wife. It seems like a cliche but it is true: the more you desperate you are to have a relationship the less likely anyone will want to have one with you. When you learn how to accept yourself and be OK with being alone that confidence is attractive.