Sometimes people encourage me to get into speaking at conferences. There are a number of reasons I don't want to, and shit like this isn't the main one, but it

Sometimes people encourage me to get into speaking at conferences. There are a number of reasons I don't want to, and shit like this isn't the main one, but it certainly doesn't help. Everything just feels very tense (to be clear, I think the reasons for this are understandable) but it also just seems kind of thankless.