3 ms·

This is my observation too, at least for some women (and some men too, I am sure). However, I find it difficult to keep listening if I don't feel there is a poi

This is my observation too, at least for some women (and some men too, I am sure). However, I find it difficult to keep listening if I don't feel there is a point. How do you manage not to zone out?

bartl 17y ago
And that may well be the reason why men zone out. I know I do.
yason 17y ago
I guess it's called love. I wouldn't want to listen to just any woman but I do want to listen to my wife. It helps to recognize that it's important to her: I can see her relaxing when talking and it feels good to help her. I also reserve the right to not listen to her: in that case I'll just tell her that now is not a good time — I can't handle it now but I'll listen to her later. Perhaps thanks to this, I can indeed handle her most of the time. Listening is easier when I know beforehand that her train of thought just wanders around and won't probably lead to any conclusion as I would understand an ending. Thus, I've learned to not expect one. My mind does drop off the track sometimes but I know I'll soon get back to listening again. Her words are sketches so it doesn't matter if I miss some as long as I hear most. I can still keep the key things in my head and she doesn't question whether I can recite what I've heard either. Sometimes I can't do better than just half-listen: in that case I can sometimes keep my cool and make her happy, sometimes she will notice and ask me to focus more on her. Sometimes I can't, sometimes I can. I don't think my wife particularly enjoys when I'm explaining to her some cool technical thing or praise something I did to my car either. She's not too interested in it and she doesn't know much of what I'm talking about. But if I want to tell her about those she always listens, up to my point and often beyond. I'll rather live fifty years with her and try to not zone out while she's talking than live fifty years alone and try to not zone out while nobody's talking.

This is my observation too, at least for some women (and some men too, I am sure). However, I find it difficult to keep listening if I don't feel there is a point. How do you manage not to zone out?

bartl 17y ago

And that may well be the reason why men zone out. I know I do.

yason 17y ago

I guess it's called love. I wouldn't want to listen to just any woman but I do want to listen to my wife. It helps to recognize that it's important to her: I can see her relaxing when talking and it feels good to help her. I also reserve the right to not listen to her: in that case I'll just tell her that now is not a good time — I can't handle it now but I'll listen to her later. Perhaps thanks to this, I can indeed handle her most of the time. Listening is easier when I know beforehand that her train of thought just wanders around and won't probably lead to any conclusion as I would understand an ending. Thus, I've learned to not expect one. My mind does drop off the track sometimes but I know I'll soon get back to listening again. Her words are sketches so it doesn't matter if I miss some as long as I hear most. I can still keep the key things in my head and she doesn't question whether I can recite what I've heard either. Sometimes I can't do better than just half-listen: in that case I can sometimes keep my cool and make her happy, sometimes she will notice and ask me to focus more on her. Sometimes I can't, sometimes I can. I don't think my wife particularly enjoys when I'm explaining to her some cool technical thing or praise something I did to my car either. She's not too interested in it and she doesn't know much of what I'm talking about. But if I want to tell her about those she always listens, up to my point and often beyond. I'll rather live fifty years with her and try to not zone out while she's talking than live fifty years alone and try to not zone out while nobody's talking.