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I live in a van.[1] I started out in the van with a girlfriend, then our relationship came to an end (the van probably helped it last a bit longer) and so I go

by tdobson 10y ago

I live in a van.[1] I started out in the van with a girlfriend, then our relationship came to an end (the van probably helped it last a bit longer) and so I got back into dating. I'd say dating with the van was easier than before I had it. You must lead with it. You have to make sure it's upfront with everyone - you don't bring it up last - it said it all over my OKC profile - and you know - nothing starts conversations like something unusual. It's not for everyone - but the people who opt out - it would't have worked with anyway. The ones that opt in, it's good. Probably the most dangerous people who fetishise your vanlifestyle above the reality. Reality is that there are ups and downs, good things and tradeoffs. Anyway, I'm now happily in an awesome relationship - and yeah - the van isn't a big deal. It kind of helps - cos she lives a good distance away from many of my friends. :) [1] https://www.instagram.com/tdobsonnet/ https://www.instagram.com/tdobsonnet/

elliotec 10y ago
I'd disagree with your statement that "the van isn't a big deal" in your last sentence. If you feel that you have to be upfront with everyone about living in a van, it sort of becomes an enormous part of your identity, which I would call a big deal.
- geocar 10y ago
  I think he means that it isn't interfering with his romantic life. Some people (especially programmers) use the expression "it's not a big deal" to indicate something is straightforward (when you're thinking about it correctly), not to quantify its importance.
  - tdobson 10y ago
    Yeah. It rules out some people. It's attractive to some people. Clearly rules oneself out from others. It doesn't really matter because with dating - you only need to win once.
  - VLM 10y ago
    The analogy I've seen used on other sites is its like a food allergy, which is extremely important when selecting a restaurant or buying picnic food, but it doesn't significantly impair or impact social activity, or it only impacts it as much as you permit it to make you feel bad.
asimuvPR 10y ago
Mind posting more pictures of the van? I've always been intrigued by this lifestyle. :) Congrats on the adventures!
gameofdrones 10y ago
As it happens I also live in a van (a VW T25 camper) because it's economically-efficient and convenient, and I don't have any urge to buy a million dollar house with a bunch of shiny crap to keep up with the Jones' (my grandparents devoted their lives to this empty pursuit in Los Gatos ahead of learning about the world, themselves or other people). But because marketeers have convinced enough people [0] that homelessness and poverty are such "fatal" pejoratives in the petty, judgmental, status-climbing West, people with alternative lifestyles learn to whom they can share this information... It's nice to be able to go to the beach, or up the coast or inland whenever one wants and cut down to the real, minimal necessities. Plus, it's not much that much of a stretch to go to Burning Man. [0] just as many Americans have been radicalized by the perverted mind of Roger Ailes' Faux News.

by tdobson 10y ago

elliotec 10y ago

I'd disagree with your statement that "the van isn't a big deal" in your last sentence. If you feel that you have to be upfront with everyone about living in a van, it sort of becomes an enormous part of your identity, which I would call a big deal.

geocar 10y ago
I think he means that it isn't interfering with his romantic life. Some people (especially programmers) use the expression "it's not a big deal" to indicate something is straightforward (when you're thinking about it correctly), not to quantify its importance.
- tdobson 10y ago
  Yeah. It rules out some people. It's attractive to some people. Clearly rules oneself out from others. It doesn't really matter because with dating - you only need to win once.
- VLM 10y ago
  The analogy I've seen used on other sites is its like a food allergy, which is extremely important when selecting a restaurant or buying picnic food, but it doesn't significantly impair or impact social activity, or it only impacts it as much as you permit it to make you feel bad.

asimuvPR 10y ago

Mind posting more pictures of the van? I've always been intrigued by this lifestyle. :) Congrats on the adventures!

gameofdrones 10y ago

As it happens I also live in a van (a VW T25 camper) because it's economically-efficient and convenient, and I don't have any urge to buy a million dollar house with a bunch of shiny crap to keep up with the Jones' (my grandparents devoted their lives to this empty pursuit in Los Gatos ahead of learning about the world, themselves or other people). But because marketeers have convinced enough people [0] that homelessness and poverty are such "fatal" pejoratives in the petty, judgmental, status-climbing West, people with alternative lifestyles learn to whom they can share this information... It's nice to be able to go to the beach, or up the coast or inland whenever one wants and cut down to the real, minimal necessities. Plus, it's not much that much of a stretch to go to Burning Man. [0] just as many Americans have been radicalized by the perverted mind of Roger Ailes' Faux News.