OP - A lot of people can say that you'll figure this out. And you will. If you can get into a "Big 4" tech company doing engineering work, there are a lot of

OP - A lot of people can say that you'll figure this out. And you will. If you can get into a "Big 4" tech company doing engineering work, there are a lot of other places that will hire you. But please get professional help first. You can look into your company's Employee Assistance plan, or outside, but what you are going through could be a chemical imbalance in your brain that you just can't control. I've lost folks close to me to this, and there isn't a rational plan to solve this other than to talk to a mental health professional. There is no stigma to this.