You sound exactly as my wife (who functioned as a R&D engineer and radiation safety officer at a high tech company) over a year ago - I had to drag her to a do

You sound exactly as my wife (who functioned as a R&D engineer and radiation safety officer at a high tech company) over a year ago - I had to drag her to a doctor. She was diagnosed with depression. In the end she finally found sufficient help (psychiatric treatment and a therapist that understood her). Things are slowly lighting up. Please seek help immediately. I'm sorry I can't help you more - different continent.