It sounds like your primary problem here is anxiety. You may want to look into seeing a psychiatrist and getting some medication. It's been very helpful for me,

It sounds like your primary problem here is anxiety. You may want to look into seeing a psychiatrist and getting some medication. It's been very helpful for me, especially in social contexts like pull requests. But without or without medication, it's a problem you need to be mindful of and work towards on a daily basis. It isn't easy, and I frequently find myself feeling a lot like what you're describing, but it has been getting better for me. Don't give up.