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Stop the inner struggle over whether your thoughts and feelings are “right”
- jrs235 10y agoI think this goes along with the submission the other day about mediocrity: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12335367 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12335367
- dang 10y agoWe replaced the title with a photo caption from the article that appears to summarize what the researcher means by "showing up". If anyone suggests a better (more accurate and neutral) title, we can change it again.
- vinceguidry 10y agoHow about "Trying to replace other emotions with happiness often winds up decreasing it"?
- aji 10y agowhat about: "Showing up" to your emotions
- dang 10y agoThat was the alternative, but I figured since the article gives a definition of what that means, we might as well use it instead.
- tumbas 10y agowhat if your inner thoughts are wheather to rape your doughter? this is antichristian article and most probably put here by free masons or satanists next time someone sees Susan David or harward and bussiness insider it'l sure trigger different labels for signal inteligence we are humans and we are free by making the right choice. That is Christianity and this article is against it
- tumbas 10y agothis is antichristian article and most probably put here by free masons or satanists
- kunle_e 10y agoThis reminds me of how forgetful we are as a species. The stuff in this article was figured out thousands of years ago and now is being presented almost as if it's something new. It also reminds me that for all of our technological prowess, we still haven't mastered the no-tech fundamentals of dealing with life as human beings.
- ProAm 10y ago“Sooner or later, everything old is new again.” --S.King
- sliverstorm 10y agoWhat has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. -- Ecclesiastes 1:9
- mhurron 10y agoWhat has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. -- The Byrds. FTFY /not actually serious
- ProAm 10y ago"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again." -- R.Jordan
- CPLX 10y ago“To be is to do” —Socrates “To do is to be” —Jean-Paul Sartre “Do be do be do” —Frank Sinatra
- excoder 10y agoSometimes those who are most in need of this wisdom are least willing to accept it in its traditional forms. Presenting mindfulness in a form that can reach the people who are not easily moved by the older forms of "evangelism" (e.g. monks living in poverty in a monastery, doing good works in their community) seems to me like a highly worthwhile pursuit. [EDIT] ... yes, even if the concealed motive is to sell copies of yet another book about mindfulness.
- ihaveahadron 10y agoI agree. Almost in every case, maybe even all cases, I became happy when i did the exact opposite of what I was told I should do to be happy.
- seibelj 10y agoI have met people who not only police everyone's behavior and speech for minor deviations from political correctness, but are constantly worried about how their thoughts are not meeting their own high standards. There is a difference between saying things in a public forum and thinking them when you see something crazy on the street. I just think living that way would be totally exhausting and remove a lot of fun from life. This is another reason why activists decry "old boys' clubs" or cliques that form at school and work. Some people just want to hang out with people where saying an off color joke doesn't ruin your fucking life.
- jackcosgrove 10y agoThey're no different than the nun in Game of Thrones saying "Shame!" and ringing the bell. Human archetypes don't change, but they do put on different clothes over time.
- TazeTSchnitzel 10y agoBiases, prejudices and so on are subtle and take a while to unlearn. If you want to get rid of them, you essentially have to interrogate your own thoughts, for better or worse. If you're not conscious of a bias, you can't get rid of it. It doesn't suck the fun out of life.
- FreedomToCreate 10y agoThat is assuming a bias is completely a bad thing. The human brain as evolved many heuristics to help it lower cognitive load and get things done faster. As with anything, this can have good and bad outcomes, but trying to make yourself unbiased is ridiculous and non-sensical. The fact that you want to be unbiased makes you biased for information and people you think are unbiased.
- TazeTSchnitzel 10y ago> As with anything, this can have good and bad outcomes Yes. Sometimes those bad outcomes are pernicious, and you may want to limit their effects. > but trying to make yourself unbiased is ridiculous and non-sensical. Why would it be so? Sure, you can't make yourself completely unbiased and lacking in prejudice. But you can try to be more aware of how you act in different situations so that biases you consider unhelpful have less of an influence. > The fact that you want to be unbiased makes you biased for information and people you think are unbiased. What?
- sebringj 10y agoCompletely removing religion and pc correctness and cultural obligations from my life fairly early on resulted in a very light weight approach to life and the removal of inner chatter bullshit. Do what makes sense to you to get the best result in the purpose of life you have chosen. Basic morality has already been ingrained in us through evolution and is quite adequate by itself. Why we then we must slap words on it to allow it to be spread through the consciousness of people like a bad virus is beyond me. It just causes cognitive dissonance as everyone is not the same in their pursuit of happiness.
- debaserab2 10y ago> Basic morality has already been ingrained in us through evolution and is quite adequate by itself. How exactly did you arrive at that conclusion?
- bholzer 10y agoBabies of humans and other species have been shown to have a sense of morality that is not learned. https://campuspress.yale.edu/karenwynn/files/2015/10/WynnInnatenessChapter2007-28xeyit.pdf https://campuspress.yale.edu/karenwynn/files/2015/10/WynnInn...
- sebringj 10y ago@bholzer put it nicely. Google "chimps and bonobos demonstrate morality". Cooperation increased survivability and that generally has affected our acceptance of what is intrinsic to what feels right. Later religion slapped on meaning to it via super natural explanation which was the best bullshit they could come up with at the time. I get up voted on PC answers by the way but I should have cited some examples.
- debaserab2 10y agoSeeing a chimp and bonobo demonstrate morality doesn't exactly assure me that a born sense of morality is "adequate enough by itself". Pretty sure there is a zoo in Cincinnati that agrees with me on that one.
- narrator 10y agoI think the problem is that sometimes emotions can have nothing to do with reality. It's just a brain chemistry problem and only fixing the brain chemistry aspect will help. That can be done through exercise, meditation, supplements or drugs. In certain instances there's even a correctable problem, such as low grade heavy metal poisoning, that can be permanently fixed. When people beat themselves up over brain chemistry problems, it just makes it worse. It's like mentally beating yourself over not being able to walk with a broken leg.
- sakopov 10y ago"Instead, the paradoxical key to true happiness seems to be accepting unhappiness - not forcing yourself to feel how you don't." I don't know about that. The key to true happiness is accepting that happiness is the path not the destination. When you realize that life becomes a heck of a lot easier to live.
- astazangasta 10y agoThis title is exactly wrong, or at least misleading, according to CBT. The whole process of examining your feelings is to determine whether they have a sound basis. The basic loop is: identify feeling, then assumptions that led to that feeling, then try and replace those assumptions with better, more accurate ones. E.g. "I am sad." -> "everyone hates me" can be modified by realizing, no, my cat doesn't hate me, nor does my best friend Jen. Since I now know "everyone hates me" is not correct, the feelings that result from this thought can dissipate. I.e., examine your feelings deeply and understand whether the thoughts behind them are right.
- imgabe 10y agoGreat, now when I question whether one of my thoughts or feelings is "right" I have to also question whether that thought is "right".
- ralphc 10y agoIt's self doubt all the way down.
- ca98am79 10y agoThis is the first principle of consciousness.io, a new religion I made - no judgement
- unabst 10y ago> pay close attention to those negative emotions, because they're usually trying to tell you something No. They're always trying to tell you something. That's all emotions are. And they've already spoken, so arguing with them is futile. They're telling your brain how you feel so you can act intelligently on them, not so you can turn around and argue with yourself in the mirror. There are no negative emotions. They're dumb and honest. There is no "how you should feel". Your brain is the only organ smart enough to pretend. You feel a certain way because that's the way it is. We should always start there.
- avindroth 10y agoOur emotions don't tell us shit. They are straight-up wrong, half the time. Our biological OS is not constructed for the current world. That is why, even when everything is going right, we have intermittent moments of anxiety and depression. This is chronic. The moment you ignore our biases, you fall into some deep shit. And you can never get out; you can't see your own biases.
- ethbro 10y agoIf we didn't ignore the fact that we have biases, at least part of the time, wouldn't we be far less productive? I've seen people who reflect daily on whether their breakfast egg is cage free and what that means for us as an ethically omnivorous species and our corporate agribusiness food economy... and by the time they're done it's dinner. I have better things to do with my day than think logically about everything all the time.
- unabst 10y agoThere is no need to ignore anything. Emotional bias is precisely why we have brains to balance them. If you can recognize you have bias you're all set. And lo and behold, next time you won't get as angry in the same situation, etc.
- plurinshael 10y agoNo. The projection of an emotional object onto a logical construction has the capacity for being "wrong" or "right". Emotions are a different, more distributed form of logic and one should not construe homomorphisms across the two.
- emblem21 10y agoEmotions exist for a reason. Deny them at your own peril.
- swatkat 10y agoThis is exactly what Jiddu Krishnamurti has said. If you "fight" the thoughts, it'll just create conflicts that results in anxiety.
- greendestiny_re 10y agoMathematically speaking, happiness is equal to reality expresssed as a number divided by expectations: H = R/E The higher the expectations, the lower the happiness. This also means that: lim(E->inf) = inf The conclusion is inescapable yet profound - expect nothing and you'll be blissfully happy.
- rquantz 10y agoOh you read that article too? There are ways of thinking about happiness that still allow for striving. Also, unhappiness is not only caused by entitlement.