3 ms·

This entire concept of "coming off as needy" and "TMI on a first contact is bad" is just depressing to me. Whether it's true or not isn't what concerns me. Wha

This entire concept of "coming off as needy" and "TMI on a first contact is bad" is just depressing to me. Whether it's true or not isn't what concerns me. What I find puzzling is that these are considered negative things. Sometimes totally self-reliant people can come off, to someone else, as needy. It's silly to make snap judgments like that without even speaking to them. I adore people who are open. Openness is a quality that I think some people mistake for "neediness." I consider openness to be a very valuable quality. I think this would be a much better world if it was OK to be open. The other day a guy walked up to me during a fair and said, "Oooo, damn, look at those legs." He was referring to some girl. I thought he sounded like an idiot, and could have said, "Excuse me, I have to run." Instead, I carried on a conversation and ended up speaking to him for over 2 hours. Discovered that I, a liberal, borderline hippie could easily converse with a former soldier who just came back from Iraq, on various political topics no less! It was because we were both immediately open with each other, we were able to get along and have a great conversation despite each of our flaws (his gawking, my arrogance). If someone writes you a sincere letter, I don't care how many of those you get, I hope you have the decency to reply, even if it's just to say that you're not interested. If you can't handle it, then what, may I ask, are you doing on that dating site in the first place?

HeyLaughingBoy 17y ago
See, I find it puzzling that appearing to be needy can be anything but negative and I can't fathom how it can be confused with openness. Anyway, what your response tells me is that you are willing to invest more time in people before making decisions about them. That's fine, but don't expect most people to be like that, especially on a dating site with thousands of members.
bricestacey 17y ago
That is a classic pickup line, you know? Walk up to a girl and compliment another equally beautiful girl. This usually triggers a bit of jealousy and the guy seems increasingly attractive out of competition with the other girl. Anyway, as a guy I don't see any reason for you to respond if you are not interested. Your response will result in iPhone push notifications and emails that will trigger positive emotions only to be swept away the moment the message is read. It's really not constructive or beneficial to either party.
- itistoday 17y ago
  > That is a classic pickup line, you know? Walk up to a girl and compliment another equally beautiful girl. This usually triggers a bit of jealousy and the guy seems increasingly attractive out of competition with the other girl. Thank you for that bit of information, but like you, I too have a penis between my legs. My apologies if I gave the wrong impression. :-p
  - bricestacey 17y ago
    Haha, now I have absolutely no idea how to interpret your story.

HeyLaughingBoy 17y ago

See, I find it puzzling that appearing to be needy can be anything but negative and I can't fathom how it can be confused with openness. Anyway, what your response tells me is that you are willing to invest more time in people before making decisions about them. That's fine, but don't expect most people to be like that, especially on a dating site with thousands of members.

bricestacey 17y ago

That is a classic pickup line, you know? Walk up to a girl and compliment another equally beautiful girl. This usually triggers a bit of jealousy and the guy seems increasingly attractive out of competition with the other girl. Anyway, as a guy I don't see any reason for you to respond if you are not interested. Your response will result in iPhone push notifications and emails that will trigger positive emotions only to be swept away the moment the message is read. It's really not constructive or beneficial to either party.

itistoday 17y ago
> That is a classic pickup line, you know? Walk up to a girl and compliment another equally beautiful girl. This usually triggers a bit of jealousy and the guy seems increasingly attractive out of competition with the other girl. Thank you for that bit of information, but like you, I too have a penis between my legs. My apologies if I gave the wrong impression. :-p
- bricestacey 17y ago
  Haha, now I have absolutely no idea how to interpret your story.