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I've had a severe double down depression for most of my life. It started at around 10~11, after my father died and it peaked at 26 where I could not get out of

I've had a severe double down depression for most of my life. It started at around 10~11, after my father died and it peaked at 26 where I could not get out of bed without extreme amounts of stress or sleep deprivation. This ruined relationships, friendships and left me with practically all of my teenage years and most of my twenties lost to self-hatred and self-denial. Medication was the life preserver for me when I finally got myself to accept that I would never be able to deal with this alone. Medication gave my brain some well deserved rest, let me take stock from a more balanced point of view. CBT was my ladder to climb out of hell. Without CBT I would be still where I was those years ago, just less affected by it. Sitting in a room that was on fire, but just not caring about it that much, that's still a shitty place to be in. The important thing about CBT was for me that it gave me tools to work with. A chisel for my mind so to speak. It is not at all about talking oneself into happiness, for me it was about NOT talking oneself into sadness. About giving me the logical framework to force myself to see good things where they were, instead of focusing on the bad things. It gave me ways to correctly differentiate between tackling bad situations and just glooming about non-issues. I'm pretty sure without CBT my life would be nowhere where it is right now, so i'm very glad for its existance and would recommend anyone in a similar situation to try it with a GOOD therapist (mine was a guardian angel, battling the worst parts of my reasoning when I wasn't strong enough to do so).

Aelinsaar 10y ago
Similar story here, from the POV of someone with moderate anxiety, and very mild depression (probably as a result of the anxiety). Medication made me feel less, which was preferable to anxiety, but CBT was a set of tools I've continued to use. I had so little insight into my own thought processes, and the ways in which I was unintentionally reinforcing my own anxieties. It's taken a lot of effort, over a lot of years, but with that basic set of tools I don't need medication and I don't have anxiety or panic attacks. Ever. Still, if you did have that set of tools going in, but for whatever biological reason it didn't matter, then I would guess that CBT would be dust in the wind for you.
digler999 10y ago
> for me it was about NOT talking oneself into sadness. Exactly. one tool you learn is how your thoughts/feelings/actions interact: You cannot control your feelings, but they do influence your thoughts. You can control your actions, but they can influence at least some of your feelings. You can control some of your thoughts, which will influence your feelings. (I may not have stated this exactly correctly, but the gist is the same ). So basically you learn that if you begin "investing" in healthier actions and thoughts (i.e. not sulking or self-pity or rumination), it will slowly pay off in less negative feelings. No it doesnt' solve every single problem in your life, but a big part of depression is "learned helplessness" [1], and learning about thoughts/feelings/actions can be the first tool to counter this. [1]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc
- chillacy 10y ago
  I found this last week on HN, but there was a great book that's short and hands-on called Learned Optimism: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism which was written by one of the researchers on Learned Helplessness
foobarqux 10y ago
Which medication?
- ThrowMeAway314 10y ago
  NaSSAs, mostly this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirtazapine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirtazapine
  - foobarqux 10y ago
    Why NaSSAs? Had you tried SSRIs, SNRIs or bupropion first? Did you have to take the medication long term or permanently?
    - ThrowMeAway314 10y ago
      I tried SSRIs and SNRIs, both worked slightly differently and were a great help at the start, but NaSSAs actually helped with my sleeping issues, which became even stronger on SSRIs. I paid for better and deeper sleep with a slight hangover in the morning, but that was much better than what I had experienced from my depression so I was able to handle it. I took the SSRIs about 3 months and then switched to NaSSAs for the next two years until i was able to fade the medication out without much issues.

Aelinsaar 10y ago

Similar story here, from the POV of someone with moderate anxiety, and very mild depression (probably as a result of the anxiety). Medication made me feel less, which was preferable to anxiety, but CBT was a set of tools I've continued to use. I had so little insight into my own thought processes, and the ways in which I was unintentionally reinforcing my own anxieties. It's taken a lot of effort, over a lot of years, but with that basic set of tools I don't need medication and I don't have anxiety or panic attacks. Ever. Still, if you did have that set of tools going in, but for whatever biological reason it didn't matter, then I would guess that CBT would be dust in the wind for you.

digler999 10y ago

> for me it was about NOT talking oneself into sadness. Exactly. one tool you learn is how your thoughts/feelings/actions interact: You cannot control your feelings, but they do influence your thoughts. You can control your actions, but they can influence at least some of your feelings. You can control some of your thoughts, which will influence your feelings. (I may not have stated this exactly correctly, but the gist is the same ). So basically you learn that if you begin "investing" in healthier actions and thoughts (i.e. not sulking or self-pity or rumination), it will slowly pay off in less negative feelings. No it doesnt' solve every single problem in your life, but a big part of depression is "learned helplessness" [1], and learning about thoughts/feelings/actions can be the first tool to counter this. [1]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc

chillacy 10y ago
I found this last week on HN, but there was a great book that's short and hands-on called Learned Optimism: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism which was written by one of the researchers on Learned Helplessness

foobarqux 10y ago

Which medication?

ThrowMeAway314 10y ago
NaSSAs, mostly this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirtazapine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirtazapine
- foobarqux 10y ago
  Why NaSSAs? Had you tried SSRIs, SNRIs or bupropion first? Did you have to take the medication long term or permanently?
  - ThrowMeAway314 10y ago
    I tried SSRIs and SNRIs, both worked slightly differently and were a great help at the start, but NaSSAs actually helped with my sleeping issues, which became even stronger on SSRIs. I paid for better and deeper sleep with a slight hangover in the morning, but that was much better than what I had experienced from my depression so I was able to handle it. I took the SSRIs about 3 months and then switched to NaSSAs for the next two years until i was able to fade the medication out without much issues.