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But what about situations where you think you understand but you don't? That's often the point of paraphrasing back what was said. I do this in cases of doubt,
by graeme 10y ago
But what about situations where you think you understand but you don't?
That's often the point of paraphrasing back what was said. I do this in cases of doubt, and often enough I learn my paraphrase was either incorrect or had the wrong emphasis.
I do it routinely enough that I often learn I was wrong when I had no doubts.
This technique does not seem to annoy people; quite the opposite. I'm sure it can be done badly - pure repetition rather than paraphrase would be senseless.l
Edit: upon further consideration, I think I do this when I notice there are multiple interpretations to a remark, or multiple factors at play (where I might think one is weighted 90%, but it could be 10%). I don't paraphrase things that are unambiguous.
- PakG1 10y agoWhen it's a critical topic, you should still paraphrase things that are unambiguous. Because the penalty is too high for critical things when you're wrong, even if the risk seems tiny. In critical situations, assuming that something is unambiguous is especially dangerous.
- graeme 10y agoOh, I agree. Hard to cover every case in a comment.
- hyperpallium 10y agoI wonder if the paraphrasing itself is seen by that commenter as the "distorting" to fit an agenda? Once or twice I've had people angrily insist that only precisely their words conveyed their meaning - no paraphrasing would do (in a non-technical discussion). Some people also believe that ambiguity and misunderstanding are not possible, and so checking on their meaning is a waste of time. They don't see the ambiguity, because they know what they mean. Even after several misunderstandings have occurred. I've mostly had success with active listening, especially when someone is upset. It's reassuring to be given space. On the other rare occasions... some people really do have issues. Or, maybe I'm doing it badly, not able to adjust to the situation, the specific words and the person. I honestly can't tell which predominates. Finally, it makes a tremendous difference whether the participants have the same general background and specific context and perspective - on the same page. And whether they are aware of any differences.