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Either you frequently deal with very not nice people, or you for some reason have negative assumptions about those around you. I'd like to assure you that ther

by PakG1 10y ago

Either you frequently deal with very not nice people, or you for some reason have negative assumptions about those around you. I'd like to assure you that there are many people out there who use repeating back what other people say (a critical component of active listening) to sincerely verify whether they've understood someone correctly, as well as validate the idea that they are indeed listening.

2muchcoffeeman 10y ago
I repeat what people say all the time, especially if I am asked a complex question to make sure I understand. A lot of people get annoyed at me.
- PakG1 10y ago
  Honestly, I've found (only in my experience, not trying to make a blanket statement) that people who get easily annoyed aren't very easy to work with. The question then becomes whether their technical skills are good enough to disregard their lack of people skills. Sometimes, it's not worth it and you try to move on to a different situation if that person is a mainstay for the team. I've found that on really good teams, these types of people are mostly non-existent. I don't doubt that there are teams out there filled with these types of people who magically understand each other and are always on the same page as if they had some sort of hive mind. I've heard of them, and it gets described as "good chemistry". I've just never experienced one of those teams myself where everyone can read the minds of other team members. For more average people, communication is a really important skill, and that includes not being annoyed by simple questions. Mind you, I can easily be annoyed by simple questions too. It's not like I'm good at this stuff either.
  - shimon 10y ago
    Teams that have achieved "mind meld" didn't just start there, never needing much communication. When you see this, it's usually because the team has had excellent communication together for many months/years, to the point that they have a rich understanding of each other and their communications can express a lot of meaning very efficiently.
- Practicality 10y ago
  Most people are not aware of how poorly they communicate and so they are upset when you don't just "know" what they mean.
  - hinkley 10y ago
    Evidence: every requirements document in existence.

by PakG1 10y ago

2muchcoffeeman 10y ago

I repeat what people say all the time, especially if I am asked a complex question to make sure I understand. A lot of people get annoyed at me.

PakG1 10y ago
Honestly, I've found (only in my experience, not trying to make a blanket statement) that people who get easily annoyed aren't very easy to work with. The question then becomes whether their technical skills are good enough to disregard their lack of people skills. Sometimes, it's not worth it and you try to move on to a different situation if that person is a mainstay for the team. I've found that on really good teams, these types of people are mostly non-existent. I don't doubt that there are teams out there filled with these types of people who magically understand each other and are always on the same page as if they had some sort of hive mind. I've heard of them, and it gets described as "good chemistry". I've just never experienced one of those teams myself where everyone can read the minds of other team members. For more average people, communication is a really important skill, and that includes not being annoyed by simple questions. Mind you, I can easily be annoyed by simple questions too. It's not like I'm good at this stuff either.
- shimon 10y ago
  Teams that have achieved "mind meld" didn't just start there, never needing much communication. When you see this, it's usually because the team has had excellent communication together for many months/years, to the point that they have a rich understanding of each other and their communications can express a lot of meaning very efficiently.
Practicality 10y ago
Most people are not aware of how poorly they communicate and so they are upset when you don't just "know" what they mean.
- hinkley 10y ago
  Evidence: every requirements document in existence.