3 ms·

I think you're underestimating human diversity. In some very base sense what you are saying is true, but you're not going to have a successful date just because

by Retra 10y ago

I think you're underestimating human diversity. In some very base sense what you are saying is true, but you're not going to have a successful date just because you vaguely "demonstrated reproductive value." That's because what is appropriate value depends entirely on the person you're dating -- their mood, their experiences, their self-perceptions... The only way you're speaking the truth is if just about every human behavior qualifies as demonstrating success. In which case, you're saying nothing. It is nearly useless for making actual decisions, and thus not something you are justified in believing strongly.

wyager 10y ago
> That's because what is appropriate value depends entirely on the person you're dating But you're still demonstrating value, yes? I admit that there is no universal value function. It is subjective to a large degree. However, we can pick out large-scale trends fairly easily. > The only way you're speaking the truth is if just about every human behavior qualifies as demonstrating success Not sure what you mean.
- Retra 10y ago
  Everything you do "demonstrates value." So what? You need to know what your date values, and that can vary wildly enough that you cannot reasonably predict it. Thus the purpose of a date is not to "demonstrate value", but to let someone else analyze your value for themselves. Sure, you can find trends, but you're never dating trends. Real people are not averages of a population. >Not sure what you mean. When you say "but you're still demonstrating value", you are reducing dating analysis to a tautology. It will either be untrue or useless. Something has to fail to demonstrate value in order for you to determine not to do it. And you can't do that without knowing the person you're dating. Which is at the heart of everyone else's point: Dating is about finding out what your date values, not 'demonstrating' what you imagine it is that they value.
  - wyager 10y ago
    So what you're telling me is that healthy, fit, intelligent, and wealthy person isn't going to have more dating success than a sickly, scrawny, impoverished idiot? Interesting theory. > you cannot reasonably predict it. I think I just did.
    - Retra 10y ago
      You're predicting broad trends. You're not determining the actual outcome of individual dates. A "sickly, scrawny, impoverished idiot" can have successful dates, and you've just failed to predict that. When you go on a date, whether the average person would like you means nothing. Whether the person actually sitting in front of you likes you means everything. And you can't predict that. You are talking about the middle of a bell curve, and you're failing to understand how wide that curve is and how strong the tails are. Which is why I said you're failing to understand human diversity.

by Retra 10y ago

wyager 10y ago

> That's because what is appropriate value depends entirely on the person you're dating But you're still demonstrating value, yes? I admit that there is no universal value function. It is subjective to a large degree. However, we can pick out large-scale trends fairly easily. > The only way you're speaking the truth is if just about every human behavior qualifies as demonstrating success Not sure what you mean.

Retra 10y ago
Everything you do "demonstrates value." So what? You need to know what your date values, and that can vary wildly enough that you cannot reasonably predict it. Thus the purpose of a date is not to "demonstrate value", but to let someone else analyze your value for themselves. Sure, you can find trends, but you're never dating trends. Real people are not averages of a population. >Not sure what you mean. When you say "but you're still demonstrating value", you are reducing dating analysis to a tautology. It will either be untrue or useless. Something has to fail to demonstrate value in order for you to determine not to do it. And you can't do that without knowing the person you're dating. Which is at the heart of everyone else's point: Dating is about finding out what your date values, not 'demonstrating' what you imagine it is that they value.
- wyager 10y ago
  So what you're telling me is that healthy, fit, intelligent, and wealthy person isn't going to have more dating success than a sickly, scrawny, impoverished idiot? Interesting theory. > you cannot reasonably predict it. I think I just did.
  - Retra 10y ago
    You're predicting broad trends. You're not determining the actual outcome of individual dates. A "sickly, scrawny, impoverished idiot" can have successful dates, and you've just failed to predict that. When you go on a date, whether the average person would like you means nothing. Whether the person actually sitting in front of you likes you means everything. And you can't predict that. You are talking about the middle of a bell curve, and you're failing to understand how wide that curve is and how strong the tails are. Which is why I said you're failing to understand human diversity.