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> we limit her daily screen time to no more than 24 hours. Here's the thing, though. There's a tradeoff between setting limits and teaching children what's rig
by thanatropism 10y ago
> we limit her daily screen time to no more than 24 hours.
Here's the thing, though. There's a tradeoff between setting limits and teaching children what's right and wrong; and teaching them how to decide for themselves what's what. This is why kids of a certain age often get cash allowances, for example.
Kids are going to grow up one day. They will watch porn, and they need to know what's what -- what's bizarre entertainment and what's intimate, whatever its kinky-ness level, sex. They will watch violent movies, and movies that depict amoral, despicable situations. And this is fine: we're always flirting with the edge of our morality and our knowledge, this is how we keep growing as humans. "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth."
This why I have long decided not to have kids. I don't have the kind of generosity to host a little person that at first can't walk on his own, but is already his own person. I don't know how fathers do it. I often think my father should be disapointed that I didn't become a musician like him or some other kind of high-brow artist, but instead a "numbers person" as he puts it. But he isn't disappointed. And just I had been warned, when you're 10, dads know everything; when you're 20, they're total fools; when you're 30, they're even wiser than you realized when you were a kid.
My dad knows something mysterious about Being and Life itself I can only glimpse from watching soccer with him. Foolish as some of his life choices have been.
Congratulations on being a parent!
- tclancy 10y ago>There's a tradeoff between setting limits and teaching children what's right and wrong Absolutely, but it's mysterious and nuanced and a giant pain in my analytical brain. Allowing her to wander off with a phone or tablet can be a life-saver when things need to be done without any outside "assistance" but our daughter is highly susceptible to a condition I have named "iPad Face" wherein a screen held at arm's length or closer (how I laugh about what my parents' generation would say about eyeballs so close to a TV) can turn the happiest of moods into a dark sulk. The other problem is everything needs to be taught by example, not by legislative fiat, which is another PITA and a bit of a challenge in These Modern Times. Looking forward to getting her interested in video games so she has another excuse to never go outside!
- j2bax 10y agoYeah at a certain point. But kids at a young age need regulation. If I didn't regulate my 2 year old she'd sit plastered to a screen for half the day. The thing about tv, smartphones etc is that they are incredibly addictive and I'd prefer to avoid my kid being addicted to something before they are old enough to decide for themselves what they'd like to have as a vice. I struggle enough with media/info addiction and I hope to help my daughter be aware of it and avoid it when she's old enough.
- nightpool 10y agoWait, did I read this wrong? Limiting the daily screen time to "no more then 24 hours" reads like a tongue in cheek joke, because there are only 24 hours in a day.
- marssaxman 10y agoYeah, I thought that was a hilarious way to point out that it's none of anyone else's business.
- tclancy 10y agoJust to close the loop, yeah I did mean to say I'm an awful parent so feel free to ignore anything I wrote. Not quite sure how it slipped through anyone's sarcasm filter but now I'm trying to imagine someone who can imagine a small child staying awake for 24 hours.
- andrepd 10y agoYes, they need to grow up eventually, but not at age 3. A toddler cannot make good decisions on their own. I'm 100% for the point of view you exposed about letting kids make their own responsible choices instead of hand guiding them, but a 3 year old needs to be told what to do.
- seabass 10y agoI think you missed the joke