After unfortunate experiences in Real Estate, I began a new life as the Renting Scum in decent, fiber-optic-Internet-having neighborhoods. As you may imagine, t

After unfortunate experiences in Real Estate, I began a new life as the Renting Scum in decent, fiber-optic-Internet-having neighborhoods. As you may imagine, this Floridian enclave of happiness has an HOA which utterly lacks enthusiasm for Renting Scum. Indeed, my webcams show them photographing my front lawn several times weekly. If one of their dogs happens to pee on my lawn and create a dead spot more than a couple inches across? My landlord hears about it from them. My expensive lawn service comes a couple days late after a heavy rain and the grass gets a bit long? Landlord. It barely rains at all during a summer month and things get a bit sparse and brown? Landlord (unless I illegally water on multiple days, which I do, just like the police who live around me do). TL;DR many of us maintain the Reaganian-perfect front lawn out of the first scene of a David Lynch movie under duress, even if it's the dumbest, most wasteful thing we ever heard of. Hey man, fiber's fiber.