4 ms·

LPT though: have friends at work but don't flirt with them. I had a really good friend at work for a while but it always had this flirty undercurrent. We both

LPT though: have friends at work but don't flirt with them. I had a really good friend at work for a while but it always had this flirty undercurrent. We both had SOs, but enjoyed the "office wife/husband" thing (my real wife actually knew about it and was not jealous). Anyway, the flirtationship thing makes you as vulnerable to criticism as an actual relationship, so the occasional sarcastic tirade or bad mood day really hurts. Long story short, we're not only no-longer-friends (this happen, I've worked at the same place for so long some friendships are cyclical); we can't talk to each other or work in the same open plan office. It's a small wonder no one's been fired. Ultimately the drama/good feeling ratio doesn't work out.

fluxquanta 10y ago
I would say your caution shouldn't only apply only to flirtatious relationships, but rather any interpersonal relationship at work that becomes too casual. I work in a small shop and was hired as the third developer, about 4 months after developer number two. Of course, Number 2 and I became friends pretty quickly and we would hang out outside of work on occasion. That is, until one day when some totally insignificant disagreement resulted in threats of physical violence against me. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy that, we never hung out again. I brought the comment up with management (the company owner) and as far as I can tell nothing came of it. Now, as our company and development staff has grown the owner has put this same guy in a managerial role that I have to answer to, and because of our history, it's becoming more difficult to stay productive in our interactions. In other words, friends in the workplace can be a good thing, but if it backfires, and especially if you're both candidates for advancement in the same department, the repercussions could have you polishing your resume.
- Grishnakh 10y ago
  If you're a software developer, you shouldn't be staying in the same job more than a few years anyway. You'll get more pay by jumping around.
Grishnakh 10y ago
>LPT though: have friends at work but don't flirt with them. I'm a software engineer, and a hetero male. Why would I want to flirt with other men? I frequently wish I had gone into another career (probably medical) so I could try out this flirting with coworkers thing I keep hearing about.
- thanatropism 10y ago
  Welp, a corollary of what I said is that it's better to flirt with people outside of work.
  - Grishnakh 10y ago
    That'd be nice if I had some way of meeting people outside of work, besides dating apps. Are you one of those people who really thinks a grocery store is a place to meet women?
    - thanatropism 10y ago
      Well, I don't think a grocery store is not a place to meet women, but you could try night clubs.
      - Grishnakh 10y ago
        Yeah, I've tried that: a bunch of drunks and really, really loud and bad music. It isn't very much fun.
        thanatropism 10y ago
        Let me try again: try night clubs that play music you like; that helps a lot in winnowing the playing field and showing women of the type you'd enjoy dating. But hey, we're talking flirting, right? Finding fuck-friends is probably easier with dating apps; and maybe one of those even converts into a sweetheart. Flirting is really fun though.

fluxquanta 10y ago

I would say your caution shouldn't only apply only to flirtatious relationships, but rather any interpersonal relationship at work that becomes too casual. I work in a small shop and was hired as the third developer, about 4 months after developer number two. Of course, Number 2 and I became friends pretty quickly and we would hang out outside of work on occasion. That is, until one day when some totally insignificant disagreement resulted in threats of physical violence against me. Needless to say, I didn't enjoy that, we never hung out again. I brought the comment up with management (the company owner) and as far as I can tell nothing came of it. Now, as our company and development staff has grown the owner has put this same guy in a managerial role that I have to answer to, and because of our history, it's becoming more difficult to stay productive in our interactions. In other words, friends in the workplace can be a good thing, but if it backfires, and especially if you're both candidates for advancement in the same department, the repercussions could have you polishing your resume.

Grishnakh 10y ago
If you're a software developer, you shouldn't be staying in the same job more than a few years anyway. You'll get more pay by jumping around.

Grishnakh 10y ago

>LPT though: have friends at work but don't flirt with them. I'm a software engineer, and a hetero male. Why would I want to flirt with other men? I frequently wish I had gone into another career (probably medical) so I could try out this flirting with coworkers thing I keep hearing about.

thanatropism 10y ago
Welp, a corollary of what I said is that it's better to flirt with people outside of work.
- Grishnakh 10y ago
  That'd be nice if I had some way of meeting people outside of work, besides dating apps. Are you one of those people who really thinks a grocery store is a place to meet women?
  - thanatropism 10y ago
    Well, I don't think a grocery store is not a place to meet women, but you could try night clubs.
    - Grishnakh 10y ago
      Yeah, I've tried that: a bunch of drunks and really, really loud and bad music. It isn't very much fun.
      - thanatropism 10y ago
        Let me try again: try night clubs that play music you like; that helps a lot in winnowing the playing field and showing women of the type you'd enjoy dating. But hey, we're talking flirting, right? Finding fuck-friends is probably easier with dating apps; and maybe one of those even converts into a sweetheart. Flirting is really fun though.