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But what if it's a caustic truth? Seriously, the world isn't all fluffy fuzzy happiness. Sometimes people honestly dislike and even despise one another, but t

by zeveb 10y ago

But what if it's a caustic truth? Seriously, the world isn't all fluffy fuzzy happiness. Sometimes people honestly dislike and even despise one another, but they can still produce good work together. Gilbert & Sullivan are a good example.

throwanem 10y ago
Whether it's a caustic lie or a caustic truth, it's still caustic. Either way, what good do you see coming of its revelation in this context?
- bm5k 10y ago
  Put yourself in OP's position: would you rather _not_ know?
  - throwanem 10y ago
    Yes. Edited to expand: I already sandbox my personal and work lives thoroughly, so it's not going to cost me anything of significance beyond the job if I lose the job - not that that's not significant, but it's not my whole life, either. If, to a good first approximation, everyone where I work hates me, then I'm already going to lose the job, because with that many people looking to put a knife in my back, someone is going to succeed. The odds that knowing this is true will make it possible for me to change it are effectively negligible; on the one hand, if everyone where I work hates me because of my own behavior, I'm not equipped to change anyone's mind, and on the other, if everyone where I work hates me because of something that isn't actually under my control, everyone where I work still hates me and I'm literally the last person in the world who's going to be able to do anything about that. Either way, I'm screwed in a way that foreknowledge isn't going to do anything to help; the best that'll happen if I find out ahead of time is nothing, and the worst is that I'll make my situation even worse. So where's the benefit in being told?
    - deleted 10y ago
      [deleted]
- zeveb 10y ago
  > Either way, what good do you see coming of its revelation in this context? Either OP changes his behaviour to better-please his colleagues, thereby improving their work dynamic, or he cuts them, thereby improving his circumstances. Without accurate information, he's unable to make an informed decision.
- zookatron 10y ago
  That depends on whether or not you believe a painful truth is better than a pleasant lie. I personally believe truth to be more important than happiness, and I would want to know the truth even if it made me unhappy. Other people might prefer happiness to truth, which is fine, but that's not what I would choose for myself.

by zeveb 10y ago

throwanem 10y ago

Whether it's a caustic lie or a caustic truth, it's still caustic. Either way, what good do you see coming of its revelation in this context?

bm5k 10y ago
Put yourself in OP's position: would you rather _not_ know?
- throwanem 10y ago
  Yes. Edited to expand: I already sandbox my personal and work lives thoroughly, so it's not going to cost me anything of significance beyond the job if I lose the job - not that that's not significant, but it's not my whole life, either. If, to a good first approximation, everyone where I work hates me, then I'm already going to lose the job, because with that many people looking to put a knife in my back, someone is going to succeed. The odds that knowing this is true will make it possible for me to change it are effectively negligible; on the one hand, if everyone where I work hates me because of my own behavior, I'm not equipped to change anyone's mind, and on the other, if everyone where I work hates me because of something that isn't actually under my control, everyone where I work still hates me and I'm literally the last person in the world who's going to be able to do anything about that. Either way, I'm screwed in a way that foreknowledge isn't going to do anything to help; the best that'll happen if I find out ahead of time is nothing, and the worst is that I'll make my situation even worse. So where's the benefit in being told?
  - deleted 10y ago
    [deleted]
zeveb 10y ago
> Either way, what good do you see coming of its revelation in this context? Either OP changes his behaviour to better-please his colleagues, thereby improving their work dynamic, or he cuts them, thereby improving his circumstances. Without accurate information, he's unable to make an informed decision.
zookatron 10y ago
That depends on whether or not you believe a painful truth is better than a pleasant lie. I personally believe truth to be more important than happiness, and I would want to know the truth even if it made me unhappy. Other people might prefer happiness to truth, which is fine, but that's not what I would choose for myself.