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> I'm happier liking people, and I can like someone and be friendly even irrespective of if they like me or not. That is extremely mature, and shows great perc

by Vaskivo 10y ago

> I'm happier liking people, and I can like someone and be friendly even irrespective of if they like me or not. That is extremely mature, and shows great perception of the complications of our perceptions and social interactions. Congratulations on reaching that conclusion. Ina semi related note, I try to keep my distance with coworkers. The added factor of work responsabilities and possible conflics would be harder to manage with a friendship or more added to the equations. But I tend to compartmentalize my relationships, so there's that.

pessimizer 10y ago
I don't even try to keep my distance with coworkers. but I honestly couldn't even tell you if I liked or disliked a coworker until after I have left the job and reflected back on it. What I know is if they are incompetent/skilled, lazy/hardworking/overworking, whether they understand directions, whether they are direct communicators or bullshitters, whether they are kiss-asses/groupthinkers or generous with credit/willing to go to bat for correctness. It's honestly all I think about at work - how to get the job done. When somebody tries to connect with me on a personal level, I feel like we're wasting time and that I'd rather be having this conversation with the job already done, at home, with somebody I already have a relationship with but can never find enough time for because I'm always at this stupid job helping chisel money out of suckers for scum. I've never managed to make friends with a co-worker at the time I was working with them. I've become friends with several after working together, though. It's so irritating when somebody tries to be friendly at the job (unless we're waiting on something that can't be hurried - I've had friendly conversations that sprang from shared frustration) that I don't find it friendly. It's important to live up to my username periodically, but I'm actually being honest here and not baiting. I'm pleased with everyone at work who does their job moderately well, and I'm nice to everyone who isn't selfish in a way that other people have to take on extra work to enable their laziness (even if those non-selfish people are incompetent.)
- bshimmin 10y ago
  It's so irritating when somebody tries to be friendly at the job Wow, really? You honestly find it irritating when someone perceives you might have a mutual interest in something only tangentially related to work, so strikes up a conversation with you? Or someone likes the cut of your jib when they first meet you and suggests you walk across the road to the sandwich place together? Or offers to grab you an espresso whilst they're getting theirs? You find all of that... irritating?
  - vvanders 10y ago
    Read his post closer, he hates people bullshitting when there's work to be done.
  - oldmanjay 10y ago
    The tone of the post leads me to feel like there is incipient burnout
    - pessimizer 10y ago
      If so, I was burnt out on the first day of my first job 25 years ago.
      - derefr 10y ago
        I identify heavily with this statement. Then again, executive function disorder.
  - pessimizer 10y ago
    If we could be working, yes. I don't want to be at work, and we're extending it by talking about the cut of my jib. I dislike work so much that they have to pay me or I wouldn't even come in. edit: to be a little clearer - when it comes to coworkers, I mistake how pleased I am with how they do their jobs with whether I like them or not. In real life, I would actually like many of the people who were horrible at their jobs and dislike some of the people who made me happiest with their work. edit 2: I don't even like working with people who are already my friends unless they can find a way to let it go at the job. All things being equal, I'd prefer to work with a stranger.

by Vaskivo 10y ago

pessimizer 10y ago

I don't even try to keep my distance with coworkers. but I honestly couldn't even tell you if I liked or disliked a coworker until after I have left the job and reflected back on it. What I know is if they are incompetent/skilled, lazy/hardworking/overworking, whether they understand directions, whether they are direct communicators or bullshitters, whether they are kiss-asses/groupthinkers or generous with credit/willing to go to bat for correctness. It's honestly all I think about at work - how to get the job done. When somebody tries to connect with me on a personal level, I feel like we're wasting time and that I'd rather be having this conversation with the job already done, at home, with somebody I already have a relationship with but can never find enough time for because I'm always at this stupid job helping chisel money out of suckers for scum. I've never managed to make friends with a co-worker at the time I was working with them. I've become friends with several after working together, though. It's so irritating when somebody tries to be friendly at the job (unless we're waiting on something that can't be hurried - I've had friendly conversations that sprang from shared frustration) that I don't find it friendly. It's important to live up to my username periodically, but I'm actually being honest here and not baiting. I'm pleased with everyone at work who does their job moderately well, and I'm nice to everyone who isn't selfish in a way that other people have to take on extra work to enable their laziness (even if those non-selfish people are incompetent.)

bshimmin 10y ago
It's so irritating when somebody tries to be friendly at the job Wow, really? You honestly find it irritating when someone perceives you might have a mutual interest in something only tangentially related to work, so strikes up a conversation with you? Or someone likes the cut of your jib when they first meet you and suggests you walk across the road to the sandwich place together? Or offers to grab you an espresso whilst they're getting theirs? You find all of that... irritating?
- vvanders 10y ago
  Read his post closer, he hates people bullshitting when there's work to be done.
- oldmanjay 10y ago
  The tone of the post leads me to feel like there is incipient burnout
  - pessimizer 10y ago
    If so, I was burnt out on the first day of my first job 25 years ago.
    - derefr 10y ago
      I identify heavily with this statement. Then again, executive function disorder.
- pessimizer 10y ago
  If we could be working, yes. I don't want to be at work, and we're extending it by talking about the cut of my jib. I dislike work so much that they have to pay me or I wouldn't even come in. edit: to be a little clearer - when it comes to coworkers, I mistake how pleased I am with how they do their jobs with whether I like them or not. In real life, I would actually like many of the people who were horrible at their jobs and dislike some of the people who made me happiest with their work. edit 2: I don't even like working with people who are already my friends unless they can find a way to let it go at the job. All things being equal, I'd prefer to work with a stranger.