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From Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and influence people": ''' "I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel
by stared 10y ago
From Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and influence people":
'''
"I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do."
An answer like that will soften the most cantankerous old cuss alive.
And you can say that and be 100 percent sincere, because if you were the other person you, of course, would feel just as he does.
Take Al Capone, for example. Suppose you had inherited the same body and temperament and mind that Al Capone had. Suppose you had had his environment and experiences. You would then be precisely what he was - and where he was. For it is those things - and only those things - that made him what he was. The only reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your mother and father weren't rattlesnakes.
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- cvs268 10y agoNot only does it soothe the other person, this approach is ACTUALLY helpful in improving oneself i.e. how one approaches an argument or a difference of opinion. Once you say this and mean it, you are no longer thinking about how wrong or stupid the other person is. You are no longer frustrated by someone else's apparent incompetence. Instead you start thinking how to share with the other person, the influential thoughts and experiences which you have already had. The sooner you are successful in letting the other person experience the same thoughts and experiences that you already have, the better the chances that the other person can now see your point of view.
- stared 10y agoI agree. The general tone of this books is not "how to trick people" but "how to realize what is important for them, that they are important, and act accordingly".