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> I similarly think it should be impossible for a word to offend someone. I think it's possible for meaning to offend and really only if you respect the person
by whynaut 10y ago
> I similarly think it should be impossible for a word to offend someone. I think it's possible for meaning to offend and really only if you respect the person enough to provide some weight to that meaning.
This strikes me as curious, as offense is a feeling, and thus not much "thinking" must be involved. If by 'should be impossible' you mean everyone should not allow themselves to be offended, that is a very different thing (and certainly requires first finding oneself offended, and then thinking about it).
- siliconc0w 10y agoI think the feeling is more a result of the perception. I.e someone forcefully communicates an idea you find painful to think about thus causing you pain. Better to confront the idea - understand and heal the trauma - rather than fixating on the mechanism of how you were reminded of it. You might find that the idea can no longer harm you - much less by someone trying to force it upon you - because you, at that point, understand it far better than they do.
- Spearchucker 10y agoNo opinion to offer, but an observation - you've used some interesting words: Forcefully; painful; pain; confront; trauma; harm; force. Juxtaposed: Forcefully - persuasively; energetically; vigorously painful - uncomfortable; awkward; unpleasant pain - discomfort; uneasy; disquiet confront - address; meet; handle trauma - effect; consequence; cause harm - affect; move; influence force - influence; change; affect I say this seeing so much provocative and emotive language in a world where violence is needlessly celebrated and even elevated above accomplishments that further humanity, kindness, compassion, learning...
- mistaken 10y agoI agree; bad words are bad because they have a negative feeling or concept associated with them (fear, disgust, racism etc..). They work on an emotional level, so you must make a conscious decision not to become offended even if the intent behind the words weren't hostile towards you.
- wastedhours 10y agoExactly. If I called a mate a "daft c!!t" (censored mainly because people still put that word, strangely, on a pedestal - if you do, I'd suggest not going to a bar in London on a Friday night...), it has a totally different concept to it than if I called a stranger who said something silly a "daft c!!t". Fundamentally it boils down to an empathy with context - everyone has a right to be offended by anything, but realistically the only time that has any impact societally is if someone is directly trying to offend you (which is rarely the case).
- ck425 10y agoBut the person speaking doesn't necessarily know what feelings or associations you give a word, so they can't be blamed for your reaction to them.
- TeMPOraL 10y agoBeing offended is a kind of feeling that you have to allow yourself to have. It's solely the responsibility of the person feeling offended, and frankly, I believe it's a sign of immaturity.
- coldtea 10y agoActually feeling offended when a swear word is used as an offence against you is a mature sign that you understand social context.
- grkvlt 10y agoHowever, words do not exist in a vacuum. They have context when spoken or written. I suppose someone who was offended by the occurrence of the word "nigger" in the dictionary would be a little odd, but it would be quite normal for someone to be offended when called a nigger, or if someone described the president of the USA as that. In fact, I would not be surprised to find that my use of the word, even simply in this meta-discussion of its hypothetical usage, might offend someone...