4 ms·

I'm going to venture a guess that you yourself have never raised children. This is classic armchair parenting advice that sounds good to the philosophic mind, b

I'm going to venture a guess that you yourself have never raised children. This is classic armchair parenting advice that sounds good to the philosophic mind, but falls apart in the real world. If you've never raised kids, you probably shouldn't offer parenting advice. If you have actually raised kids, let us know then know how long your kid ate ice cream before they acquired a taste for broccoli. Developmentally, a 6 year old is just not ready to be in control of defining all their own boundaries. They need adults to help them with this. Often times the reason kids are acting out is because they don't know where the boundary is or they sense where it is but it feels too unsteady. Clearly defining boundaries around a child's behavior is going to help them feel more secure.

meric 10y ago
No, but I've had to see a therapist since I could move out and not tell my parents about it, because I've parenting that shares similarities to what OP described. My suggestion is only based on what the therapist told me I needed, instead of what I actually experienced. You're right, I should wait till I have had kids before giving out this advice. I take my comments back and endorse the following two comments. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12225434 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12225434 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12223002 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12223002
- csorrell 10y ago
  Yeah, parenting can be kind of a balancing act. I think there is a valid point that your posts were getting at which is it's important to give your kids the space to make their own decisions and learn from their own consequences. The hard part about parenting though is having a good understanding of where your child is at developmentally, and then figuring out which decisions are developmentally appropriate for them to be making for themselves.

meric 10y ago

No, but I've had to see a therapist since I could move out and not tell my parents about it, because I've parenting that shares similarities to what OP described. My suggestion is only based on what the therapist told me I needed, instead of what I actually experienced. You're right, I should wait till I have had kids before giving out this advice. I take my comments back and endorse the following two comments. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12225434 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12225434 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12223002 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12223002

csorrell 10y ago
Yeah, parenting can be kind of a balancing act. I think there is a valid point that your posts were getting at which is it's important to give your kids the space to make their own decisions and learn from their own consequences. The hard part about parenting though is having a good understanding of where your child is at developmentally, and then figuring out which decisions are developmentally appropriate for them to be making for themselves.