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I would add one thing to the author's list of admirable behavior: always seek out the truth, no matter where it lies. IMO a component of the growing toxic atmo

I would add one thing to the author's list of admirable behavior: always seek out the truth, no matter where it lies. IMO a component of the growing toxic atmosphere in public discourse is the "win at all costs" mindset, that fosters the belief that a little white lie here and there is justified by the end goal.

smacktoward 10y ago
Not all truths are the same size, though. If someone is ugly, telling them so in conversation is both completely truthful and completely unhelpful. Just because something is true doesn't mean it's necessary to say it out loud, or constructive to building a civil, respectful space.
- MrZongle2 10y ago
  Useless but brutally honest truths aren't something we have abundance of in our society. We are, however, drowning in possibly-actionable nuggets of data that range from the somewhat-truthy to the probably-bullshit area of the honesty spectrum. That people fabricate -- and worse, repeat without fact-checking -- such information contributes to the problem I refer to.
  - Chris2048 10y ago
    The principle of "fact-checking" has a fatal flaw - it gives power to those who have time and resources to fact-check, and even more to those that can control the availability of facts. Consider information regarding the Iraq war before wiki-leaks - only facts beneficial to the image of the US military were released.
- Mz 10y ago
  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Calling someone ugly says at least as much about you as it does them, possibly more. Furthermore, the whole point of the piece about civility is that it protects individuals so we can more effectively hash out ideas that matter. Unless you are hiring a model, whether someone is "ugly" or not is likely not terribly relevant to the work you are trying to do.
CM30 10y ago
Or in other words, the (rather ridiculous) idea of there being 'no bad behaviours, only bad targets'. Which often gets applied by zealots and trolls as 'destroy the opponent and their social life in any way possible'.

smacktoward 10y ago

Not all truths are the same size, though. If someone is ugly, telling them so in conversation is both completely truthful and completely unhelpful. Just because something is true doesn't mean it's necessary to say it out loud, or constructive to building a civil, respectful space.

MrZongle2 10y ago
Useless but brutally honest truths aren't something we have abundance of in our society. We are, however, drowning in possibly-actionable nuggets of data that range from the somewhat-truthy to the probably-bullshit area of the honesty spectrum. That people fabricate -- and worse, repeat without fact-checking -- such information contributes to the problem I refer to.
- Chris2048 10y ago
  The principle of "fact-checking" has a fatal flaw - it gives power to those who have time and resources to fact-check, and even more to those that can control the availability of facts. Consider information regarding the Iraq war before wiki-leaks - only facts beneficial to the image of the US military were released.
Mz 10y ago
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Calling someone ugly says at least as much about you as it does them, possibly more. Furthermore, the whole point of the piece about civility is that it protects individuals so we can more effectively hash out ideas that matter. Unless you are hiring a model, whether someone is "ugly" or not is likely not terribly relevant to the work you are trying to do.

CM30 10y ago

Or in other words, the (rather ridiculous) idea of there being 'no bad behaviours, only bad targets'. Which often gets applied by zealots and trolls as 'destroy the opponent and their social life in any way possible'.