I really, really, have a hard time not beating myself up. I always want to be or feel better, but when I start thinking about the things I should be doing in or

I really, really, have a hard time not beating myself up. I always want to be or feel better, but when I start thinking about the things I should be doing in order to improve, the friction is so high that I fall back to my default mode, which is to play a video game for an hour or two. In this case, it's CS GO.