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This whole thing seems so overwhelming. I understand negotiation is a skill that you can learn, but like anything else, it takes a lot of practice to get really

This whole thing seems so overwhelming. I understand negotiation is a skill that you can learn, but like anything else, it takes a lot of practice to get really good. In a way, negotiation is the polar opposite skill as computer programming. As a programmer, what you do is anything but negotiation. You don't negotiate with PHP to get you code running the way you want it to. You tell it exactly what you want it to do, then PHP does exactly that.

dasil003 10y ago
You only say that because you're good at programming. I remember folks in the computer lab trying to negotiate with god for their code to run...
- BWStearns 10y ago
  Depending on the language or tooling I sometimes still do (is undef gt or lt 0?).
scotty79 10y ago
It's really easy. Just few tricks that go normal decent human reflexes. Just biting your tongue a bit and not reacting to first financial offer on the spot, taking a break in communication suggesting that you need to consult (your partner, your plans), reject first offer after this consideration can get you far. Plus being enthusiastic about everything but the money (thoughtful and bit distanced (concerned?) about that, until you get the offer you want to finish with, then enthusiastic as well).
imh 10y ago
The best advice I've read makes it feel much less like a skill. Do your homework and decide what price you would walk away from. It's easy to raise the price you would walk away from by having multiple offers, and once you've done your homework you can have a normal discussion about their offer. Instead of something equally vague as "I'd like more" you can say exactly why you think you should get more.
pm90 10y ago
It kinda is. And if you're not someone who naturally picks up on social cues or has a vivacious/charming personality, it can feel like a huge challenge. But the rewards of learning this kink in society is very large: you can make a substantial change in your compensation by learning this one skill. Its upto you to decide whether its worth it. But do understand that the choice is in your hands.
saryant 10y ago
Negotiation may not relate directly to sitting at a keyboard typing code, but the underlying skill is critical to the profession. Trying to land the projects you want? You're negotiating. Talking the PM into reducing scope to hit a deadline? Negotiating. Angling for a big promotion? Negotiating. It's not a bad thing, just human nature.

dasil003 10y ago

You only say that because you're good at programming. I remember folks in the computer lab trying to negotiate with god for their code to run...

BWStearns 10y ago
Depending on the language or tooling I sometimes still do (is undef gt or lt 0?).

scotty79 10y ago

It's really easy. Just few tricks that go normal decent human reflexes. Just biting your tongue a bit and not reacting to first financial offer on the spot, taking a break in communication suggesting that you need to consult (your partner, your plans), reject first offer after this consideration can get you far. Plus being enthusiastic about everything but the money (thoughtful and bit distanced (concerned?) about that, until you get the offer you want to finish with, then enthusiastic as well).

imh 10y ago

The best advice I've read makes it feel much less like a skill. Do your homework and decide what price you would walk away from. It's easy to raise the price you would walk away from by having multiple offers, and once you've done your homework you can have a normal discussion about their offer. Instead of something equally vague as "I'd like more" you can say exactly why you think you should get more.

pm90 10y ago

It kinda is. And if you're not someone who naturally picks up on social cues or has a vivacious/charming personality, it can feel like a huge challenge. But the rewards of learning this kink in society is very large: you can make a substantial change in your compensation by learning this one skill. Its upto you to decide whether its worth it. But do understand that the choice is in your hands.

saryant 10y ago

Negotiation may not relate directly to sitting at a keyboard typing code, but the underlying skill is critical to the profession. Trying to land the projects you want? You're negotiating. Talking the PM into reducing scope to hit a deadline? Negotiating. Angling for a big promotion? Negotiating. It's not a bad thing, just human nature.