I think The Onion needs a modernized version of this article: http://www.theonion.com/article/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel-429 http://www.

I think The Onion needs a modernized version of this article: http://www.theonion.com/article/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel-429 http://www.theonion.com/article/area-man-constantly-mentioni... "Area Man Constantly Mentioning He's Not On Facebook"