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Reducing my carbohydrate intake, limiting workouts to 20 high intensity minutes, practicing better sleep hygiene, asking more questions and arguing less, taking

Reducing my carbohydrate intake, limiting workouts to 20 high intensity minutes, practicing better sleep hygiene, asking more questions and arguing less, taking vitamin D supplements, setting limits on gifts and travel, avoiding alcohol and limiting to 3 drinks maximum on any given night, cutting my own hair, buying rental property, realizing that absent mindedness is a symptom of poor planning, focusing on problems that matter, asking for help when I am guessing for solutions instead of working towards them, practicing empathy, abandoning black and white ideologies, setting clear limits with family, time-boxing HN and internet activities.

hndude 10y ago
Could you please expand on "realizing that absent mindedness is a symptom of poor plannning"? Also limiting gifts and travel?
- louprado 10y ago
  The problem with absent mindedness is that is it dismissed as just part of one's personality. Being an absent minded professor is almost a badge of honor. "It isn't my fault that I have such a brilliant mind that it is exclusively focused on important matters". I missed work meetings (people would just call me), I forgot final exams in college, I'd walk out of my house leaving the door wide open. When I forgot things that were important to others, it caused them pain and burden. But I dismissed it as "not my fault" because "I have a bad memory" or "I am always thinking about more important things and most people just can't relate". Having a bad memory is easily remedied using notes, day planner (look at it each morning), smart phone apps, habits, etc. Using these tools will declutter your mind and inherently make you less absent minded. I have a fantastic memory now. And when I find my old ways creeping up (usually because I am short on-time or moving too fast) I immediately remedy it with planning. Ultimately being absent minded implies "I don't care". I don't care enough to write things down or plan, or who I burden. If you think of it that way then you are more likely to improve. And if you are enabling someone who is absent minded, please stop. Tell them it isn't a symptom of brilliance or a genetic quirk. Every one has a smartphone. So it is a problem of not caring, lack of empathy, and irresponsibility. As for gifts and travel, these are the major reason people fail to save enough money. If you are going to help someone in need, set a limit before you start helping. I've seen people self-destruct their high-paying careers because they felt too guilty to set limits. But without the high-paying job they can finally say no, without guilt. Finally, you should travel because it makes you happy. Every year people joke that the holidays with the family involves getting the flu and intense family fights. If you are having this problem, explain that next year you won't travel if anyone in the house has a cold or until you personally establish habits that reduce your susceptibility to colds. When a fight gets out of control with your remote family explain that you might not visit next year until we can learn to be more civil. Establish a boundaries but also lower them once you as you build trust and respect. Hope this helped.
johnloeber 10y ago
The odd one out here is cutting your own hair, which seems like a very minor choice (you can usually find a decent haircut for $15-30), especially since you do it so rarely. Do you have an explanation for why this is significant, or why you bundle it with a set of life decisions that arguably look much larger?
- switch007 10y ago
  Bit late to the party, but for me (not OP), deciding to cut my own hair was about rejecting perfectionism and learning something new. The money saving is a relatively minor. I get to sit in my bathroom for an hour or two and think. I'm actually happier overall with my hair for two reasons: 1) barbers never completely did what I wanted, 2) I cut my hair more often (2-3 weeks)
prawn 10y ago
Don't disagree with a gift limit, but the travel note probably deserves clarification. If we're not living to experience things (including the world around us), what are we living for?

hndude 10y ago

Could you please expand on "realizing that absent mindedness is a symptom of poor plannning"? Also limiting gifts and travel?

louprado 10y ago
The problem with absent mindedness is that is it dismissed as just part of one's personality. Being an absent minded professor is almost a badge of honor. "It isn't my fault that I have such a brilliant mind that it is exclusively focused on important matters". I missed work meetings (people would just call me), I forgot final exams in college, I'd walk out of my house leaving the door wide open. When I forgot things that were important to others, it caused them pain and burden. But I dismissed it as "not my fault" because "I have a bad memory" or "I am always thinking about more important things and most people just can't relate". Having a bad memory is easily remedied using notes, day planner (look at it each morning), smart phone apps, habits, etc. Using these tools will declutter your mind and inherently make you less absent minded. I have a fantastic memory now. And when I find my old ways creeping up (usually because I am short on-time or moving too fast) I immediately remedy it with planning. Ultimately being absent minded implies "I don't care". I don't care enough to write things down or plan, or who I burden. If you think of it that way then you are more likely to improve. And if you are enabling someone who is absent minded, please stop. Tell them it isn't a symptom of brilliance or a genetic quirk. Every one has a smartphone. So it is a problem of not caring, lack of empathy, and irresponsibility. As for gifts and travel, these are the major reason people fail to save enough money. If you are going to help someone in need, set a limit before you start helping. I've seen people self-destruct their high-paying careers because they felt too guilty to set limits. But without the high-paying job they can finally say no, without guilt. Finally, you should travel because it makes you happy. Every year people joke that the holidays with the family involves getting the flu and intense family fights. If you are having this problem, explain that next year you won't travel if anyone in the house has a cold or until you personally establish habits that reduce your susceptibility to colds. When a fight gets out of control with your remote family explain that you might not visit next year until we can learn to be more civil. Establish a boundaries but also lower them once you as you build trust and respect. Hope this helped.

johnloeber 10y ago

The odd one out here is cutting your own hair, which seems like a very minor choice (you can usually find a decent haircut for $15-30), especially since you do it so rarely. Do you have an explanation for why this is significant, or why you bundle it with a set of life decisions that arguably look much larger?

switch007 10y ago
Bit late to the party, but for me (not OP), deciding to cut my own hair was about rejecting perfectionism and learning something new. The money saving is a relatively minor. I get to sit in my bathroom for an hour or two and think. I'm actually happier overall with my hair for two reasons: 1) barbers never completely did what I wanted, 2) I cut my hair more often (2-3 weeks)

prawn 10y ago

Don't disagree with a gift limit, but the travel note probably deserves clarification. If we're not living to experience things (including the world around us), what are we living for?