5 ms·

This already exists, it is called flirting. Given two socially well adjusted participants it allows either party to back down without hurting the other parties

• fdsaaf 10y ago
  > Given two socially well adjusted participants So non-socially-well-adjusted, raised-on-the-internet types shouldn't get to date? Your comment is tautological and merely says that people who are good at dating are good at dating.
  • waqf 10y ago
    You might as well argue that the SENPAI paper implies that people who aren't comfortable with homomorphic encryption shouldn't get to date.
    • hueving 10y ago
      >who aren't comfortable with homomorphic encryption shouldn't get to date. It's 2016, homophobia should be shunned anyway.
      • eru 10y ago
        It would have been funny, had you written Homomorphobia.
    • deleted 10y ago
      [deleted]
    • philh 10y ago
      Rather, the SENPAI protocol makes dating available to people who aren't socially adept but are comfortable with homomorphic encryption. Socially adept people can continue to flirt.
  • DominikR 10y ago
    No one said that, but these people need to either work on improving themselves (which most people definitely can) or they have to deal with the fact that a vast majority of women will never be interested in them. There is no IT solution that we could come up with to change this and it wouldn't even be desirable in the first place. Sexual selection has the purpose to ensure that only people with desirable traits get to breed and while it isn't perfect it is my opinion that it still is the best process known to us.
    • kalleboo 10y ago
      > There is no IT solution that we could come up with to change this and it wouldn't even be desirable in the first place. Tinder has worked well for some people I know
    • Lawtonfogle 10y ago
      Yet how would I be viewed if I applied the same logic to acquiring goods and services? If you aren't able to earn a living then you should focus on improving yourself. If you can't then you are SOL. It's funny how high production skills are forcefully shared but there is little effort to even try to share social skills. If anything, being socially awkward is met with scorn. Maybe we should swap the name to socially poor and people would have some pity
      • DominikR 10y ago
        > If you aren't able to earn a living then you should focus on improving yourself. Of course everyone should try hard to do this. > It's funny how high production skills are forcefully shared but there is little effort to even try to share social skills. What skills are forcefully shared? And how can you possibly share social skills? Or are you suggesting that government should allocate sexual partners to everyone? I don't understand what point you are trying to make here. The bottom line is that most could significantly improve their social skills and confidence but many chose to live in denial because the first step is frightening and actually the hardest part. You just have to practice this skill like everything else in life and learn to not take judgement of others too serious.
  • chronolitus 10y ago
    I'm not sure what your point is? "So people who never play football shouldn't get to score goals?"
    • philh 10y ago
      I think it's closer to the other way around. People who can't score goals can still contribute in a football game, for example as goalkeepers. But if you select your team based on who's the best at scoring goals, they're not going to get a chance to demonstrate their goalkeeping ability. Similarly, I think there are a lot of people who are bad at flirting but would make good romantic partners for the people they're interested in. But being bad at flirting means they often don't get a chance to demonstrate the other qualities they could bring to a relationship.
• jakob223 10y ago
  This technique is described in the paper: 2.4 The Start Out As Friends Protocol The Start Out As Friends Protocol (SOAP), as presented by [9], is summarized in Figure 1. In this protocol, Alice and Bob participate in many exchanges over a long period, transferring pieces of information that provide only incremental evidence of their responses. Over time, each party can become more and more confident in the other’s answer, until the probability of a mismatch is low enough that a JMAP exchange becomes feasible. Unfortunately, the runtime of this protocol may be inordinately long in some cases, and deriving evidence from the individual transmissions can be difficult. There are also highly complex failure modes when dealing with a malicious adversary, as Munroe illustrates in his paper. [9] R. Munroe. Friends. May 2008. https://xkcd.com/513/ https://xkcd.com/513/
  • morgante 10y ago
    That's not the same thing. Flirting does not require that you first be friends with someone and certainly doesn't require a runtime of many months. A successful flirtation can happen within a few minutes.
    • Smaug123 10y ago
      Flirting doesn't require a runtime of months, but then nor does SOAP. SOAP only specifies a "long period", but as they say, a minute can seem like hours.
• flukus 10y ago
  Flirting has a high signal to noise ratio. There are also many issues with unintentional signalling.
  • DominikR 10y ago
    It is for people that aren't socially adept (which one can learn btw) and this is of course also one important criteria for sexual selection. My view is that it is not in the interest of women (who mostly do the selecting while men do the approaching) to use a process for selection that obfuscates if the approaching person is socially adept or not. It is maybe just my experience, but generally women do know which men are interested and which are not, even if the male didn't make an approach yet.
    • BatFastard 10y ago
      Do you have a set of suggested resources for learning to be social adept. Its too late for me, but I am hoping to teach it on to my version 2.0 systems.
      • splouk 10y ago
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influen... A good start.
        • Kalium 10y ago
          Long story short: use their names and feed their egos. Ignore all the stuff about sincerity and real connection, since the author does.
          • splouk 10y ago
            I called it a 'good start' for a reason. Obviously there is a lot more to social success than charm and flattery, but they are important regardless.
• InclinedPlane 10y ago
  Ding ding ding. The whole point of flirting is that it's a gradual (potentially) escalation path with a built in escape route / plausible deniability (for having a romantic interest in someone). It's like tossing across a thin fishing line and then the other person attaching a length of cord to while you pull it back and then attach a rope to, and so on. At any point any party can back down or back out without feeling hugely awkward or embarrassed, and to proceed it requires the cooperative participation of both people. It's quite an elegant system, in fact, it's a shame to many people are baffled by it.
• darod 10y ago
  i wonder where harassment fits into flirting given that the second party can have a completely negative response to flirtatious advances. also flirting can create an immediate awkward moment as it is very similar to the "just man up and ask" protocol.
  • seangrogg 10y ago
    While JMAP doesn't work particularly well in a one-to-many relational structure it can be made decidedly less awkward in a one-to-one relational structure if you are willing to invest some social cycles up front.
• zeveb 10y ago
  > Given two socially well adjusted participants But socially poorly-adjusted folks want love too!
• DennisP 10y ago
  The success of Tinder demonstrates demand for a faster and less ambiguous protocol. SENPAI is basically Tinder without a trusted third party.
  • Navarr 10y ago
    Tinder would be MFP, which is quite effective with sufficient trust in the "F" (Tinder).