Oh, I see now. Yeah, you're right. From our outside frames of references we'll never see anything cross the event horizon, instead matter approaches the event h

Oh, I see now. Yeah, you're right. From our outside frames of references we'll never see anything cross the event horizon, instead matter approaches the event horizon asymptotically slowly. In our exterior frame of reference/coordinate system you'll not see one form and because they'll never form from the outside we'll never see a black hole because there aren't any. So as far as that goes you're right. What this doesn't mean is that black holes don't exist in any reference frame. The simple test is to jump into the black hole. Time dilation won't affect you, you're in a free fall after all, following your geodesic. You'll pass a well defined event horizon and pass into what is undeniably a black hole.