You have two basic tasks: maintenance and improvement. (1) pay debt. Pay rent. eat. exercise. this is self-care stuff. It's foundational to well-being. Fail at

You have two basic tasks: maintenance and improvement. (1) pay debt. Pay rent. eat. exercise. this is self-care stuff. It's foundational to well-being. Fail at it, and you're going to be getting into serious problems. (2) While you're managing self-care, focus on the vector you're going. Where do you want it to go? Not where do your parents want, your elders want, your friends what. What do you, the individual want? Write it down. Consider the regularly for, say, 4-6 months. I.e., enough time to cycle through personal emotional states. Ask yourself if what you want conflicts with your self. It's not always going to be coherent. Then start setting your hand to that in your free time. If what you genuinely want is to conform, or to not, to be family-oriented, or not: that's generally okay. Some things to consider doing and learning, while you quest for finding yourself occurs: - Religion is traditionally the touchstone for meaning and making sense for humanity. While atheism is a rising tide, it doesn't cohere at all with humanity's history. You should engage with religious beliefs. I am a Christian and would advise to look here first ( ;-) ); there's also, in my opinion, a lot of wisdom in Judiaism and Zen Buddism. As a subpoint, a pastor/priest/rabbi is, theoretically, a specialist in answering "what is the point of it all". - In the West, philosophy started as a non-theistic set of questions about what constituted good, the good life, etc. You might find Socrates to be an excellent read. IMO most of Western philosophy has been spent responding to Socrates in some form - he started the conversation. - Spend time outside; not exercising, but existing in the natural world. National forests etc. This is the substrate where civilization has been embedded. It matters, deeply. - Start a few food plants in pots and tend to them; eat the produce. Learn about them. The cycles of nature underpin our bodies and our minds. - Take up an art - music, painting, sculpture, etc. Spend time learning about traditional art and its history. Art is one of the few timeless things in history. Lives are poured out here; it's well to understand it. - Spend time with your parents and extended, if possible. Most people derive at least some meaning from family. If you have siblings on speaking terms, now is a good time to strengthen your relationship. - If you have a SO, I'd advise holding off on a kid. Get your head straightened out a bit before giving the kid your problems. :-S - School is best considered as a means to an end. Loans are murder on choices, since they force you to choose high-paying jobs and limit your ability to do risk.