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I can tell you what not to do; I really mean this. Don't drink. At least not for a while. It could lead to suicidal ideation. Then it's possibly a literal deat

I can tell you what not to do; I really mean this. Don't drink. At least not for a while. It could lead to suicidal ideation. Then it's possibly a literal death spiral. You're depressed that you don't get anything done (hobbies, side project, etc). This makes you more depressed. You don't get anything done. This compounds the feelings of trapped/existential worthlessness. Eventually you might come really close to suicide. No booze.

omginternets 10y ago
This can't be upvoted enough. Drugs and alcohol are great, but they should be used to celebrate good times, not to overcome bad ones.
- GreatCatsby 10y ago
  To an extent, you are correct. But my experience has been slightly different. Having a major-ish depression once or twice a year is customary for me now. This happens no matter how good or bad things in life are going on: whether I'm working on something I really like near an infinity pool in Kuala Lumpur, or whether I'm out of client work and desperate. Alcohol helps me get through that ("you should go to a shrink", anyone?), and then when this periodic depression is done, I'm back to enjoying the things I do. With some occasional alcohol when I feel like it, or when dealing with legacy PHP code (no kidding). One thing I also noticed is having a great, caring, friendly partner reduced my alcohol consumption—significantly.
  - mercer 10y ago
    Depression is unfortunately an active ingredient in my life. And I do agree with you that 'leaning into' the depression can be effective; I've often found that locking myself up at home, neglecting myself, and feeling openly and dramatically sorry for myself somehow made my situation improve much quicker than if I'd fought my depression. But I've really changed my mind about using alcohol or any other mood-altering, addictive substance (which includes food for some!) to cope, especially when it is to cope with depression. See, many people share exactly your experience until suddenly they don't. After years of using alcohol within whatever boundaries they set for themselves, they lose their job and as a result of that they lose their partner. Or they lose their partner in a terrible way (death, cheating, etc.) and get stuck in the 'getting through it' drinking phase because there are no friends to drag them out. Or a close friend/relative dies + losing a job. Basically, too much 'crumbles' at once. This can happen to anyone. As a result, both slowly and somehow suddenly, the boundaries move, things get worse, and it becomes all the harder to get unstuck. The coping mechanism is too effective and the way out too difficult. If they're lucky, something happens to snap them out of it. But even if this does happen, it could take years and cost them a lot. This is a very common story. Shockingly common, in my experience. I've worked with homeless people, had a fair share of 'junkie friends' and a few close family members who were alcoholics. In the vast majority of cases I'd summarize their story as "I became comfortable with alcohol/pills/weed/etc. in my teens and twenties, then too many things went wrong at the same time, and now here I am years later either addicted or avoiding whatever I was hooked on entirely." Of course there are probably plenty of people where this doesn't happen. I hope you're one of them. I don't think things are black and white, and perhaps for some people drugs are a good coping mechanism. But I've seen too much go wrong after years of things going right to not feel a desire to warn (not judge) people at least! Addiction's a bitch.
- lostPixels 10y ago
  Anecdotal counterpoint: I was in a rut much like the OP, and took a half year off to explore psychedelic drugs, music festivals, and local art culture. A couple of good acid trips really reset my expectations on reality and gave me some much needed grounding. With my newfound perspective, I took some professional risks that were extremely advantageous in the long run. I likely would not have seen the options, or have the fortitude to try them without a my sabbatical. Never try this if you are depressed and looking for a quick-fix to your issues though. If you are bored, scared of change, or unsure how to make life choices, then I would suggest a good ole' high-dose acid trip in the woods. Also, buy a cheap road bike and ride it 100 miles straight. Seriously, it will change your life.
  - antoniuschan99 10y ago
    You took a sabbatical/break. Highly recommended if an individual is feeling like op.
  - Joof 10y ago
    Acid is a good bit different from drinking though. You won't get addicted.
    - niccaluim 10y ago
      Experiences differ on this point.
      - mercer 10y ago
        Could you elaborate? I've been surrounded by regular drug users for at least a decade at this point, and I've see dependency/addiction to all sorts of drugs, including those that are often considered non-addictive. And that's not even counting addiction to gaming, food, sex, and so on. I have not encountered a single case where someone appeared to be dependent on or addicted to acid. Sure, some people used it a little more than I'd consider healthy, but calling that an addiction or even a dependency would be stretching it.
      - Joof 10y ago
mano05 10y ago
Excellent advice

omginternets 10y ago

This can't be upvoted enough. Drugs and alcohol are great, but they should be used to celebrate good times, not to overcome bad ones.

GreatCatsby 10y ago
To an extent, you are correct. But my experience has been slightly different. Having a major-ish depression once or twice a year is customary for me now. This happens no matter how good or bad things in life are going on: whether I'm working on something I really like near an infinity pool in Kuala Lumpur, or whether I'm out of client work and desperate. Alcohol helps me get through that ("you should go to a shrink", anyone?), and then when this periodic depression is done, I'm back to enjoying the things I do. With some occasional alcohol when I feel like it, or when dealing with legacy PHP code (no kidding). One thing I also noticed is having a great, caring, friendly partner reduced my alcohol consumption—significantly.
- mercer 10y ago
  Depression is unfortunately an active ingredient in my life. And I do agree with you that 'leaning into' the depression can be effective; I've often found that locking myself up at home, neglecting myself, and feeling openly and dramatically sorry for myself somehow made my situation improve much quicker than if I'd fought my depression. But I've really changed my mind about using alcohol or any other mood-altering, addictive substance (which includes food for some!) to cope, especially when it is to cope with depression. See, many people share exactly your experience until suddenly they don't. After years of using alcohol within whatever boundaries they set for themselves, they lose their job and as a result of that they lose their partner. Or they lose their partner in a terrible way (death, cheating, etc.) and get stuck in the 'getting through it' drinking phase because there are no friends to drag them out. Or a close friend/relative dies + losing a job. Basically, too much 'crumbles' at once. This can happen to anyone. As a result, both slowly and somehow suddenly, the boundaries move, things get worse, and it becomes all the harder to get unstuck. The coping mechanism is too effective and the way out too difficult. If they're lucky, something happens to snap them out of it. But even if this does happen, it could take years and cost them a lot. This is a very common story. Shockingly common, in my experience. I've worked with homeless people, had a fair share of 'junkie friends' and a few close family members who were alcoholics. In the vast majority of cases I'd summarize their story as "I became comfortable with alcohol/pills/weed/etc. in my teens and twenties, then too many things went wrong at the same time, and now here I am years later either addicted or avoiding whatever I was hooked on entirely." Of course there are probably plenty of people where this doesn't happen. I hope you're one of them. I don't think things are black and white, and perhaps for some people drugs are a good coping mechanism. But I've seen too much go wrong after years of things going right to not feel a desire to warn (not judge) people at least! Addiction's a bitch.
lostPixels 10y ago
Anecdotal counterpoint: I was in a rut much like the OP, and took a half year off to explore psychedelic drugs, music festivals, and local art culture. A couple of good acid trips really reset my expectations on reality and gave me some much needed grounding. With my newfound perspective, I took some professional risks that were extremely advantageous in the long run. I likely would not have seen the options, or have the fortitude to try them without a my sabbatical. Never try this if you are depressed and looking for a quick-fix to your issues though. If you are bored, scared of change, or unsure how to make life choices, then I would suggest a good ole' high-dose acid trip in the woods. Also, buy a cheap road bike and ride it 100 miles straight. Seriously, it will change your life.
- antoniuschan99 10y ago
  You took a sabbatical/break. Highly recommended if an individual is feeling like op.
- Joof 10y ago
  Acid is a good bit different from drinking though. You won't get addicted.
  - niccaluim 10y ago
    Experiences differ on this point.
    - mercer 10y ago
      Could you elaborate? I've been surrounded by regular drug users for at least a decade at this point, and I've see dependency/addiction to all sorts of drugs, including those that are often considered non-addictive. And that's not even counting addiction to gaming, food, sex, and so on. I have not encountered a single case where someone appeared to be dependent on or addicted to acid. Sure, some people used it a little more than I'd consider healthy, but calling that an addiction or even a dependency would be stretching it.
    - Joof 10y ago

mano05 10y ago

Excellent advice