4 ms·

Questions for our first 1:1

88 points by wallflower 10y ago

zachrose 10y ago
Asking "what makes you grumpy?" would pair well with "what beings you joy?"
sgt101 10y ago
Questions and answers in 1:1's is a bad sign. Open talking employee and listening + coaching manager are the positive signs. I ask you, you say something, I write it down is not good karma.
- itsdrewmiller 10y ago
  Pretty sure these are specifically for your first 1:1 - getting to know specific things about the person that will be helpful in future coaching situations. I think your first few 1:1s with someone where you don't have a prior relationship are going to be awkwardly formal no matter what approach you take.
nxc18 10y ago
I love this. The baked goods question, in particular, is especially valuable if at first glance it seems humorous. Some of the other questions require a level of self-reflection that many lack. Sometimes people say what they think their new manager will like to hear. If they are relatively young/inexperienced, they just might not know the answer or have ever thought about it. There are few people (in western society at the very least) who can't tell you what their favorite baked good is. Actually caring enough to remember (even if you had to write it down) someone's favorite baked good is a powerful signal, and the person gets their favorite baked good. Everyone wins.
kator 10y ago
Funny in my 1:1's I always remind my team members my job is pretty easy, I only have four things to do: 1) Provide Air Cover 2) Provide Resources 3) Provide Direction 4) Get the F out of the way. My first 1:1 is usually a reminder of this, basically "How can I help you be successful, what can I do to protect you, get you the resources you need and get the F out of your way?" I'm always coaching my team "What is your passion?" because I believe if you work in your passion you don't work a day of your life. To me my goal should be to help my team find that passion, sometimes that is beyond the confines of my group. I play the long game, I've helped many people move beyond the group I was working in. Years later some have came back with gratitude and a lot of learning about themselves and what works, and more importantly what doesn't work for them in a partnership. Life is short, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey and all the amazing people you meet along the way. Stop managing people, start being a partner to the people you work with no matter where they sit in your organization.
- solipsism 10y ago
  I'm always coaching my team "What is your passion?" because I believe if you work in your passion you don't work a day of your life. To me my goal should be to help my team find that passion, sometimes that is beyond the confines of my group. What if the passion is beyond the confines of the job? Some of us work for the money, and despite that we do a great job. It sounds like you're a great manager, but honestly, as an experienced developer, I'd rather my manager not try to align my passions with my work. That's my job.
  - mc32 10y ago
    So much this. Yes, some people can work on their passion and their job is not a vehicle for personal sustainability --but for a good many people work is work. They are good, they are great at their jobs, but ultimately it's a job they do well --however they may have passions --things they can suffer over, elsewhere. And I really don't see an issue there. I think it's a great misconception management sell where it's sold that passionate people are the only true workers worthwhile. It really shows how out of touch some people are with the outside world.
mbfg 10y ago
What makes you grumpy? - incompetent managers who treat our relationship too cutesy How will I know when you’re grumpy? - You'll be around How can I help you when you’re grumpy? - Don't be around How do you like feedback - the medium (IRC, email, in person, etc.) - ok, reasonable - email How do you like feedback - routine like in 1:1s, or as-it-happens - let's not have 1-1's m-k? How do you prefer to receive recognition? (public or private) - via my paycheck What makes 1:1s the most valuable for you? - wait, you actually think any subordinate want's 1-1s? thats funny What are your goals for this year? And for the next 3 months? - something this organization doesn't have available What do you need from your manager? - what can you provide, ok so, nothing From your team? (this one is good if the 1:1 is with someone who manages people, but is typically relevant for IC’s, too) - be professional From your peers? (outside the team) - be professional What’s your favorite baked good? - yeah, your an ass
- alexmingoia 10y ago
  1-1's will continue until moral improves.
- mjrbrennan 10y ago
  2edgy4me
rrecuero 10y ago
As Andy Grove said, as a manager you only need to worry about two things: Motivation and Growth. Some of these questions are really good, they give you information that can help you in tricky situations down the road. However, by themselves are not going to create a foundation.
vrbelli 10y ago
Two startups that I know of who are trying to solve this problem:(shameless plug, I work for Duuoo) http://duuoo.io http://duuoo.io http://clanbeat.com http://clanbeat.com
_RPM 10y ago
For every company I've worked at so far in my career, there hasn't been a manager like this article describes at all. Never had a one on one. I requested one with my manager, and he said we can sync up, but I get the feeling he is full of shit. He seems to do the weekly status report document.

88 points by wallflower 10y ago

Asking "what makes you grumpy?" would pair well with "what beings you joy?"

Questions and answers in 1:1's is a bad sign. Open talking employee and listening + coaching manager are the positive signs. I ask you, you say something, I write it down is not good karma.

itsdrewmiller 10y ago
Pretty sure these are specifically for your first 1:1 - getting to know specific things about the person that will be helpful in future coaching situations. I think your first few 1:1s with someone where you don't have a prior relationship are going to be awkwardly formal no matter what approach you take.

nxc18 10y ago

I love this. The baked goods question, in particular, is especially valuable if at first glance it seems humorous. Some of the other questions require a level of self-reflection that many lack. Sometimes people say what they think their new manager will like to hear. If they are relatively young/inexperienced, they just might not know the answer or have ever thought about it. There are few people (in western society at the very least) who can't tell you what their favorite baked good is. Actually caring enough to remember (even if you had to write it down) someone's favorite baked good is a powerful signal, and the person gets their favorite baked good. Everyone wins.

kator 10y ago

Funny in my 1:1's I always remind my team members my job is pretty easy, I only have four things to do: 1) Provide Air Cover 2) Provide Resources 3) Provide Direction 4) Get the F out of the way. My first 1:1 is usually a reminder of this, basically "How can I help you be successful, what can I do to protect you, get you the resources you need and get the F out of your way?" I'm always coaching my team "What is your passion?" because I believe if you work in your passion you don't work a day of your life. To me my goal should be to help my team find that passion, sometimes that is beyond the confines of my group. I play the long game, I've helped many people move beyond the group I was working in. Years later some have came back with gratitude and a lot of learning about themselves and what works, and more importantly what doesn't work for them in a partnership. Life is short, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey and all the amazing people you meet along the way. Stop managing people, start being a partner to the people you work with no matter where they sit in your organization.

solipsism 10y ago
I'm always coaching my team "What is your passion?" because I believe if you work in your passion you don't work a day of your life. To me my goal should be to help my team find that passion, sometimes that is beyond the confines of my group. What if the passion is beyond the confines of the job? Some of us work for the money, and despite that we do a great job. It sounds like you're a great manager, but honestly, as an experienced developer, I'd rather my manager not try to align my passions with my work. That's my job.
- mc32 10y ago
  So much this. Yes, some people can work on their passion and their job is not a vehicle for personal sustainability --but for a good many people work is work. They are good, they are great at their jobs, but ultimately it's a job they do well --however they may have passions --things they can suffer over, elsewhere. And I really don't see an issue there. I think it's a great misconception management sell where it's sold that passionate people are the only true workers worthwhile. It really shows how out of touch some people are with the outside world.

mbfg 10y ago

What makes you grumpy? - incompetent managers who treat our relationship too cutesy How will I know when you’re grumpy? - You'll be around How can I help you when you’re grumpy? - Don't be around How do you like feedback - the medium (IRC, email, in person, etc.) - ok, reasonable - email How do you like feedback - routine like in 1:1s, or as-it-happens - let's not have 1-1's m-k? How do you prefer to receive recognition? (public or private) - via my paycheck What makes 1:1s the most valuable for you? - wait, you actually think any subordinate want's 1-1s? thats funny What are your goals for this year? And for the next 3 months? - something this organization doesn't have available What do you need from your manager? - what can you provide, ok so, nothing From your team? (this one is good if the 1:1 is with someone who manages people, but is typically relevant for IC’s, too) - be professional From your peers? (outside the team) - be professional What’s your favorite baked good? - yeah, your an ass

alexmingoia 10y ago
1-1's will continue until moral improves.
mjrbrennan 10y ago
2edgy4me

rrecuero 10y ago

As Andy Grove said, as a manager you only need to worry about two things: Motivation and Growth. Some of these questions are really good, they give you information that can help you in tricky situations down the road. However, by themselves are not going to create a foundation.

vrbelli 10y ago

Two startups that I know of who are trying to solve this problem:(shameless plug, I work for Duuoo) http://duuoo.io http://duuoo.io http://clanbeat.com http://clanbeat.com

_RPM 10y ago

For every company I've worked at so far in my career, there hasn't been a manager like this article describes at all. Never had a one on one. I requested one with my manager, and he said we can sync up, but I get the feeling he is full of shit. He seems to do the weekly status report document.