I'm confused by this post. First you say it's not a drug. Then you say that after 2 months without it, you were craving it like an addict and desperate to get

I'm confused by this post. First you say it's not a drug. Then you say that after 2 months without it, you were craving it like an addict and desperate to get it however you could. From your description, it still sounds like a hedonistic experience.