5 ms·

Oh, they are serious. That's just what a lot of people have to do to get anywhere with anyone. The alternative for most guys is being picky and getting nothing.

by mwfunk 10y ago

Grishnakh 10y ago
Personally, I'd rather be picky and get nothing if the alternative is having to sleep with someone I'm totally not attracted to. Porn is more satisfying, and with porn I don't have to worry about hurting the girl's feelings. That said, however, you do have to be realistic about what kind of woman you can attract. Also, if you get distracted by someone you're really not into, that can keep you from meeting someone who's a better match for you.
- antisthenes 10y ago
  > the alternative is having to sleep with someone I'm totally not attracted to. I'm not sure how people can sleep with someone they're not attracted to. Isn't being attracted required you know for getting a physical response?
  - Unklejoe 10y ago
    Basically, no. You'd be surprised what the imagination can do.
  - khedoros 10y ago
    If your prospective partner is not specifically repellent, and there are enough of the appropriate hormones built up in your system, physical response is no problem, if emotions are just right, if there's something arousing about the circumstances you find yourselves in, or (as mentioned) you close your eyes and let your imagination take hold. It's complicated, and there's more than one dimension.
- fizzbatter 10y ago
  I've always felt people on both sides of the fence are too picky. I met my soon-to-be wife on a dating site, so i'm sure i'm biased, but i've always felt they are the way to go. Not specifically Tinder, but rather a good algorithm that improves your signal to noise ratio. The problem there, as i see it, is always users though. Even if the site has an awesome pitch, you need critical mass to feel you have a shot at it. Perhaps Facebook should buy and integrate something like OkCupid. A data-centric approach to matching, combined with the largest data set (albeit, not tailored for OkCupid..) seems like a very interesting prospect. edit: Not sure what being picky has to do with dating sites... think i wandered, apologies.
  - Grishnakh 10y ago
    >Perhaps Facebook should buy and integrate something like OkCupid. A data-centric approach to matching, combined with the largest data set (albeit, not tailored for OkCupid..) seems like a very interesting prospect. OKCupid has already been bought by the company that owns Tinder and Match.com (unfortunately). This was a year or two ago I think.
fizzbatter 10y ago
I've always wondered what this sort of behavior does to the number of single males/females. Eg, ultimately what really happens? I could list a dozen questions about each genders respective choosey levels and tactics.. they're quite common and well known. But at the end of the day, are they even effective? Does each gender even have the same goals? Are males and females even happy with the result of their (conscious or unconscious) behavior? The two parties in question have such different tactics and tend to play the game so differently. Yet they're dependent on each other (barring additional genders or gender preferences, which only complicate matters in this already confusing discussion haha). It's all quite puzzling. Personally, i view myself as very different in this data sample, so perhaps i'm so puzzled because i'm so different.. for better or worse. Regardless, i don't understand.

Oh, they are serious. That's just what a lot of people have to do to get anywhere with anyone. The alternative for most guys is being picky and getting nothing.

by mwfunk 10y ago

Oh, they are serious. That's just what a lot of people have to do to get anywhere with anyone. The alternative for most guys is being picky and getting nothing.

Grishnakh 10y ago

Personally, I'd rather be picky and get nothing if the alternative is having to sleep with someone I'm totally not attracted to. Porn is more satisfying, and with porn I don't have to worry about hurting the girl's feelings. That said, however, you do have to be realistic about what kind of woman you can attract. Also, if you get distracted by someone you're really not into, that can keep you from meeting someone who's a better match for you.

antisthenes 10y ago
> the alternative is having to sleep with someone I'm totally not attracted to. I'm not sure how people can sleep with someone they're not attracted to. Isn't being attracted required you know for getting a physical response?
- Unklejoe 10y ago
  Basically, no. You'd be surprised what the imagination can do.
- khedoros 10y ago
  If your prospective partner is not specifically repellent, and there are enough of the appropriate hormones built up in your system, physical response is no problem, if emotions are just right, if there's something arousing about the circumstances you find yourselves in, or (as mentioned) you close your eyes and let your imagination take hold. It's complicated, and there's more than one dimension.
fizzbatter 10y ago
I've always felt people on both sides of the fence are too picky. I met my soon-to-be wife on a dating site, so i'm sure i'm biased, but i've always felt they are the way to go. Not specifically Tinder, but rather a good algorithm that improves your signal to noise ratio. The problem there, as i see it, is always users though. Even if the site has an awesome pitch, you need critical mass to feel you have a shot at it. Perhaps Facebook should buy and integrate something like OkCupid. A data-centric approach to matching, combined with the largest data set (albeit, not tailored for OkCupid..) seems like a very interesting prospect. edit: Not sure what being picky has to do with dating sites... think i wandered, apologies.
- Grishnakh 10y ago
  >Perhaps Facebook should buy and integrate something like OkCupid. A data-centric approach to matching, combined with the largest data set (albeit, not tailored for OkCupid..) seems like a very interesting prospect. OKCupid has already been bought by the company that owns Tinder and Match.com (unfortunately). This was a year or two ago I think.

fizzbatter 10y ago

I've always wondered what this sort of behavior does to the number of single males/females. Eg, ultimately what really happens? I could list a dozen questions about each genders respective choosey levels and tactics.. they're quite common and well known. But at the end of the day, are they even effective? Does each gender even have the same goals? Are males and females even happy with the result of their (conscious or unconscious) behavior? The two parties in question have such different tactics and tend to play the game so differently. Yet they're dependent on each other (barring additional genders or gender preferences, which only complicate matters in this already confusing discussion haha). It's all quite puzzling. Personally, i view myself as very different in this data sample, so perhaps i'm so puzzled because i'm so different.. for better or worse. Regardless, i don't understand.