4 ms·

ptn, you may be afraid of rejection. Maybe you could start by telling yourself that whenever you are too worried about someone's opinion, you are in fact sayin

ptn, you may be afraid of rejection. Maybe you could start by telling yourself that whenever you are too worried about someone's opinion, you are in fact saying "S/He is more important than me". I am a very shy person. I fear others' opinion. So I turned my fear into a game. For example If I go out, I only talk to girls that intimidate me. During meetings I talk the least, but I take notes, write my talking points before speaking. In other cases I literally imagine myself standing on the side watching me talk to people. I think this is not me, I am over there, watching my clone do this. The most extreme I went was having a goal to say hello and smile at anyone I saw in a day (at the store, bank, work, street, etc...). Then I went further and chatted with at least 1 stranger everyday. Take it as a game. It will be fun and soon you will start not to care.

ptn 17y ago
Fear of rejection is definitely a component here. Fear of failure is another one.
- peterwwillis 17y ago
  well, they say the best way to conquer your fears is to face them. my suggestion: get embarrassed. fail. it's a funny thing, fear. fears always make things seem worse than they are. i think you should do something that would normally embarrass you, and when you are done review what happened as a result. then do it again. each time you get in that situation you come to grips with the totality of your fear, and each time you walk away from it you become that much better at dealing with it. i think the thing to keep in mind is that yes, you will fail. yes you will get embarrassed. but after going through it you will learn how to deal with it. i'll bet you after the 50th time playing guitar in public or singing all your fears would be gone. maybe you can extend that to other parts of your life too? i also agree with looking at people in the eyes, smiling and saying hello whenever you pass. it shows confidence and it trains you to cope with people's rejection should they not smile back.

ptn 17y ago

Fear of rejection is definitely a component here. Fear of failure is another one.

peterwwillis 17y ago
well, they say the best way to conquer your fears is to face them. my suggestion: get embarrassed. fail. it's a funny thing, fear. fears always make things seem worse than they are. i think you should do something that would normally embarrass you, and when you are done review what happened as a result. then do it again. each time you get in that situation you come to grips with the totality of your fear, and each time you walk away from it you become that much better at dealing with it. i think the thing to keep in mind is that yes, you will fail. yes you will get embarrassed. but after going through it you will learn how to deal with it. i'll bet you after the 50th time playing guitar in public or singing all your fears would be gone. maybe you can extend that to other parts of your life too? i also agree with looking at people in the eyes, smiling and saying hello whenever you pass. it shows confidence and it trains you to cope with people's rejection should they not smile back.