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People don't ridicule me now, but they used to, up until I was 16 or so. That's probably it.

by ptn 17y ago

jacquesm 17y ago
Ok. So, here is my take on that: Kids are cruel, but they grow up to become adults and those adults can be just as cruel, only they're more clever about it. It never goes away, unfortunately. Pettiness seems to be somehow part and parcel of groups of people. You have to have a fairly tough skin to get around, and one of the things that being shy is a real problem with is that it opens you up to people that 'use' you simply by being normal to you, they might gain an edge that way. I've been on the receiving side of that twice, always looking for that pat on the head or if someone is simply nice to me I'll nearly kill myself to please them. It's a weak point in my character. The cruelty you can learn to deal with, the other part I'm not so sure. Every time something like that happens it dents my self confidence for years. Still, like that famous ancient story, this too shall pass, and in the end whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, sometimes much stronger. I'm going to make a really weird suggestion: forget about a startup or something like that for now, go and do some volunteer work for a while. It's two birds with one stone, it will have a real and measurably positive impact on peoples lives which will help you to build confidence and it will cure your shyness like nothing else can because it reverses the usual role patterns that you fall in to. A friend of mine from Canada did that in order to find a way to deal with the aftermath of a car accident she was in, it worked very well for her, I figure it should help you deal with your shyness for much the same reasons. There are always people below you on the ladder, simply being confronted with a lot of real world hardship will help to give you the tools with which to deal with your own, and will put you in a position of having to deal with people on a daily basis.
- ptn 17y ago
  I think you nailed it with the volunteering work. That sure sounds like it would help, it would really get my out of my comfort zone.
ErrantX 17y ago
The thing you should realise is that everyone suffers that. Your not unique in being insecure a d ridiculed as a teenager :-) (figuring that out helped me a lot)

People don't ridicule me now, but they used to, up until I was 16 or so. That's probably it.

by ptn 17y ago

People don't ridicule me now, but they used to, up until I was 16 or so. That's probably it.

Ok. So, here is my take on that: Kids are cruel, but they grow up to become adults and those adults can be just as cruel, only they're more clever about it. It never goes away, unfortunately. Pettiness seems to be somehow part and parcel of groups of people. You have to have a fairly tough skin to get around, and one of the things that being shy is a real problem with is that it opens you up to people that 'use' you simply by being normal to you, they might gain an edge that way. I've been on the receiving side of that twice, always looking for that pat on the head or if someone is simply nice to me I'll nearly kill myself to please them. It's a weak point in my character. The cruelty you can learn to deal with, the other part I'm not so sure. Every time something like that happens it dents my self confidence for years. Still, like that famous ancient story, this too shall pass, and in the end whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, sometimes much stronger. I'm going to make a really weird suggestion: forget about a startup or something like that for now, go and do some volunteer work for a while. It's two birds with one stone, it will have a real and measurably positive impact on peoples lives which will help you to build confidence and it will cure your shyness like nothing else can because it reverses the usual role patterns that you fall in to. A friend of mine from Canada did that in order to find a way to deal with the aftermath of a car accident she was in, it worked very well for her, I figure it should help you deal with your shyness for much the same reasons. There are always people below you on the ladder, simply being confronted with a lot of real world hardship will help to give you the tools with which to deal with your own, and will put you in a position of having to deal with people on a daily basis.

ptn 17y ago
I think you nailed it with the volunteering work. That sure sounds like it would help, it would really get my out of my comfort zone.

ErrantX 17y ago

The thing you should realise is that everyone suffers that. Your not unique in being insecure a d ridiculed as a teenager :-) (figuring that out helped me a lot)